True Story

Not a lot has been happening but the things that did have been a little irritating and frustrating. First, NC turned me down. (insert sad face emoticon here) I had been thinking a lot about NC: it was going to require money, and doing a lot of things in a short period of time. Major life moves should be well thought out, especially when one is damn near half a hundred and has a grand total of $88 in the bank ($50 of which came from her mama). Maybe I would stick it out a little longer with Yang, spend less, save more. Until a conversation with O’Malley got me super excited again about just seizing the day and jumping on the southbound bandwagon. (Yang going full blown crazy again only added even more street cred to O’Malley’s conversation) But when NC narrowed the list down from 7 to 3, I ended up on the cutting room floor. So we start again.

Fortunately, hope still springs eternal; I interviewed with and am a viable candidate for a long term position with a very prominent and important federal agency. In fact, after the interview, the compensation offered was raised by an additional 4K!! Of course, there is more to the process and I am hoping to be able to advance to the next step. The thought of being with Yang forever or until she finally fires me is almost depressing. Again, I am grateful for the job, for the livable wage paycheck, I like my coworkers (Lexie, Munchkin and The Intern Dr. Cross have become friends and my go-to social network), and I am learning a LOT but I just can’t take the crazy….hell, it isn’t even crazy. It is downright mental and emotional abuse. Period.

Now to tackle the topic this post; as the title says, it is a true story.  If you have been reading this blog or know anything about my story, you know when it comes to men, I meet one of two types. The ones where there is mutual attraction and I am ready to toss caution to the wind and take a chance only to be abandoned and ignored while they marry others; and then there are the idiots, liars, cowards. Usually it is hard to differentiate between the two; however, this time I have come across a pure FOOL. The fool in question? A random uber driver. #sweartoGod

First, let me state that there are two versions of me (for all intents and purposes): Real World Me who is gainfully employed, hard worker, good friend, sister/daughter/aunt and passively seeking her happily ever after. She is self-aware enough to know that she has too many issues and not enough closure to fully commit to anyone or anything without a ton of hoop jumping efforts from both parties. And then there is Online Me: she is offering loving (so different from love) for a price because hey, we all get lonely and need that touch, that attention, that companionship. She has enough worth and esteem issues that she cannot give it away freely but enough confidence, worth and esteem to not go with just anyone. There is also a touch of the romantic wild child in her that wants to give in to abandon once in awhile and take a chance. As separate as I like to think these aspects of me are, I think they kind of meet in the middle and blend together.

In any case, there was no wish-wash or mixed signals on my end during this encounter. The man is a pure-d fool and shows me why I sometimes pray, wish, and hope one of my exes would return….I know their crazy and what the expectations should be.  So, I walk outside at the same time the uber driver pulls up; I head for my usual seat (behind the passenger seat where we can both keep an eye on each other) and he says I can sit up front with him. I politely declined, citing not wanting us to crowd each other’s personal space. The trip into work is my quiet time where I can transition into Office Me: I am already planning out my to-do list for the day, bracing myself because who knows which Yang I will be dealing with and admiring the architecture of the city. I am no Chatty Cathy and usually, the drivers appreciate that since they are dealing with DC traffic.

This dude however must have been struck by me just walking up to the car. He is telling me all about himself: he is completely single and has been for 18 months, he has a son at the University of Arizona, he works at Comcast (for the past 25 years!), has a nice house in PG County, ubers in his spare time. He thinks I am sexy. He wants to meet someone. He then asks if I am single; I tell him yes, happily. Completely? Again, yes and happily. Would I consider a date with him? And this is where I thought I was completely clear: I told him men use all kinds of words as a euphemism for sex, dating being the #1. A date with me would be just that: a date. No sex. If I am dating a guy, he needs to know in the beginning that sex is not even on my radar. Yes, I know that sex is important to men, but if it is the most important thing or the only thing, that is not going to work for me. Sex is easy to find and get; I want someone willing to work towards a relationship. In rare cases, relationships do spring from a sexual start but 9 times out of 10, if a guy comes to see woman for sex, she is the booty call girl. Always. I want to get to know him and he should want to get to know me. If all a guy wants is sex with me, he needs to know that one must pay to play and not wanting to take time to know me suggests he has his wallet at the ready.

I am not usually so direct but I was not interested AND he was interrupting my quiet time. I am trying to formulate an escape plan from Yang, sharing pictures of Prince Charming at his son’s high school graduation and planning a weekend trip to NC to see my family. Not trying to assist some random dude in his quest for free pussy when his only job is to get me to work as quickly and safely as possible. However, Uber Driver was insistent that he wanted the relationship: he wanted long talks, dinners out, live music, comedy shows and long term. He then did something that was quite the red flag….he called my cellphone. I was thinking, WTF but he had my cell number because of Uber; however, no other driver has used/abused that fact. I asked him what was he doing; Uber Driver says he is giving me his personal cell number. Call him when I get off, maybe he will pick me up from work. I simply exited the car and he calls out that he’s going to watch my butt as I walk away.

Fast forward one day; first, I wake up to a text message from the driver. He sent it at 1:30am and it contained one word: hey. Okay, I may not know a lot of things and may not be the relationship expert I think myself to be, but I do know a middle of the night, one word text message is a booty call. From the guy who insisted he wants an aboveboard relationship. I delete it and go about my day and that evening, I get a phone call from Uber Drive.

UD: Hey how are you? You never responded to my text message

Me: I’m good. Why are you calling?

UD: I am in my feelings, not in a good way. I am sexually frustrated and need a girl to give me oral.

Me: You definitely called the wrong person. I already told you my stance on that.

UD: I did not mean that in a sexual way and sorry you took it that way

(commentary: I did not even bother to ask how I should’ve taken that)

UD: Gotta sleep in my car this weekend because my old lady and I are in the middle of a messy separation and I gotta sneak in on Monday to get some clean clothes and more of my stuff

(commentary: what happened to being completely single and the nice house in PG County? But I did not care enough to point out the lies)

Me: Sorry to hear that

UD: What are you doing tonight?

Me: It has been a long week and I am tired

UD: Want me to make you cum?

Me: WHERE WOULD YOU GET THAT FROM?

UD: Well, you being tired eliminates the date part

And that is where I hung up the phone and blocked him. I have no idea what I have done to deserve this shit. I don’t bother folks; I get treated like runover day-old crap and I suck it up. I have asked for and bestowed forgiveness. I don’t put myself out there because I am not ready but I keep enough hope to be willing to take a chance on the unexpected. And I get crap like homeless uber drivers. Sweet Jesus. It is times like these I envy the Mexican Girlfriend with everything in my body…..for about 5 minutes.

So this is what has been happening with me.Life goes on, so  I am spending the weekend doing laundry, apartment cleaning and went to the neighborhood church with Honeybee and the Intern Dr. Cross for a spaghetti dinner. I have had better spaghetti but it was free and I got to see the Church Crew (it has been far too long). I am going back up there on Sunday for the picnic where Honeybee and I will be leading the hot potato game! I will be eliminated in the first round. I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend, whatever your plans are.

As usual, thanks for stopping past and reading and as always…enjoy your day!