The Devil You Know


Going to start this post by telling you all about the highlight of my week… a “date” with the One Eyed Therapist. I know no one has ever heard of this dude and that is because he is fresh to the scene; he answered my ad a couple of years ago (I am seriously wondering if men ever delete women’s contact info and questioning just how long these ads have been in existence) but we never connected until now. He is really a therapist and yes, he really has one eye. He covers the empty socket with his glasses so it is disconcerting to look at him with his glasses off but I am the chick with a missing front tooth…who am I to say anything? The man had good conversation, treated me nicely and respectfully, and he made me feel amazing! By far, in my top 3 list of most unselfish lovers.  Seriously. He may have me scheduling regular sessions and that is saying a lot.

Onto to the post…we are all familiar with the expression: “Better the devil you than the devil you don’t. “ It is pretty much self-explanatory: sometimes it is just easier/wiser to deal with someone or something familiar, although you may not like him/her/it than to deal with someone/ something you don’t. The unfamiliar could be better, it could be worse but no sense in taking that chance. Well, this week gave me the chance to explore both sides of this debate and I am feeling pretty okay with both decisions.

First up, going with the devil I don’t know. Secret Agent Man…remember last post I said I wondered if he was even worth keeping around in even the financial capacity. He isn’t because he does not understand where I am coming from or maybe it is me who doesn’t know where he is coming from, or maybe we both know where the other is coming from, but I am choosing not to go there again.  In any case, he is needy and all talk, no action. The man has been texting all week, saying he wants to see me. I told him my schedule was open and free…name a day. He didn’t. Instead, he wants to tell me how “backed up” he is…and I honestly thought the man meant his workload or that he was constipated. S.A.M. says he is “sexually constipated”…I tell him he needs to masturbate. THAT is when he gets butt hurt saying I don’t want to help him.

Okay, not quite sure what I am supposed to do here: I told him he could come see me but he chose to not say or do anything about that, which has me sure that the man is not trying to follow through on the financial end. See, I have been here before….men tend to think that an out of the bedroom activity means the sex is free and on demand. It doesn’t (and especially an outing where we went dutch), much like me giving myself freely to men didn’t mean I was in an exclusive relationship that was actually going somewhere. Back to the story:  I remind him he has failed to follow through on coming over, which is when he says this stupid shit: he refuses to come over again until I tell him I want his wonderful sex. Going to let that sit here for a minute…

When I stop laughing, I tell him that is never going to happen until he gives me some wonderful sex to rave about; sticking a pole in a hole is not wonderful sex. That is S.A.M. getting off and me being the hostess with the mostest. I don’t have time for ego stroking or dealing with inadequacy issues and then factor in he pushed a Friday evening meeting into a Saturday evening no call, no show…he is the devil I know all too well and I broke it off on all fronts. I know where this road leads. Best to give efforts and time to another devil when/if he comes along.  S.A.M. has no idea how he let me down but claims he is a man who owns his actions. How can you own what you refuse to acknowledge?  He is neither “date” nor date material on any level…at least for me he isn’t.

And now for the devil I do know and am going to stick with: Yang. Last time we talked, I gave examples of her crazy and revealed that I had gotten a soft (verbal) offer from another company for a perm position. Well, since then I still do not have the offer letter from the company but Yang had me so pissed off I decided to go on faith; I was going to leave Yang and take my chances with the a devil I did not know. And I was going to be the asshole temp….if you work in an office environment, you more than likely have a story about the temp who left at lunch and never came back. That was going to be me and I took 2 days off to make sure I was okay with being that person. I was. My plan was to go in on Thursday to tie up as many loose ends as possible, pack up my crap at the end of the day, leave her keys along with a letter (a la The Breakfast Club explaining why people leave her)  and enjoy a week long break between jobs.  Yeah, it did not happen that way but isn’t that the way it always goes?

I go in the office and was surprised that Lexie, Arizona and George were all concerned about me and asking if I was okay…I was out for two days! After reassuring I was fine and not going to die, I began checking emails and Yang is telling all kinds of folks that I am going to be the point person for this, that and the third. She is telling the accountant that I will be her liaison and all questions should be directed to me. She was making plans for me far into 2016 and I had to tell her my plans…don’t mind leaving her in a lurch but in a lurch and left holding a bag/looking like a fool? No Bueno. At least if she knew she needed to make plans with another, she could bring someone in and I could somewhat train them. I go to her office, shut the door and tell her I need to talk to her; she is all: sit down, sit down but I stayed by the door with my hands behind my back ready to duck in case she broke out with the nunchucks.

After hearing that my last day would be the following Friday, she wasted no time. Yes, if I left she would be okay but she wanted to be more than okay. While she appreciated me seeing her though convention plans, what about after convention? Unless I was desperate to leave her, let’s talk salary, benefits and pros of staying. She is the devil I know; I am already established and have built relationships and rapport in and out of the office; her benefits are definitely better; she is prepared to offer $5K more than the current offer AND credit my temping hours towards the 401K 1,000 hour fulfillment; a bonus for being with her 3 months and another upon signing; and she would make me a non-exempt employee, leaving me open for overtime and making it harder to fire me should it ever come to that. She knows she can be difficult and frustrating but so is everyone…I should be used to hers by now.

Knowing this is not the time to hold back or sugar coat, I told her she had talked perm 6 weeks ago and did nothing. She countered with I told her to hold off (I did) and when the temp agency fell off on communications with her, she thought I had told them the same thing. I tell her I am not looking to get hired just to get fired. She says that is why I am the non-exempt employee and there would be no probationary period. She also said a thick skin would be needed…so far, I had one. Don’t lose it. I told her I would consider everything. She says she is so glad I will be here after convention.

So while she is checking my references (she called one of the Judges I worked for 5 years ago and the Island for sure…not sure who else), I am talking with Lexie (she wants me to stay but Yang has ruined lives and  to do what’s best for me) and finding out Arizona Robbins is a nice person but not a good person (she tried to throw me under the bus with Yang). I am talking to my neighbor who has insight and dealings with the other organization. I am talking to my Panel and the decision is unanimous: stay with the devil you know. It’s simply going to be easier and from a professional standpoint, being the EA to the Executive Director of a national bar association sounds better than being an admin at a local non-profit. It won’t be the job where I am praised for my work but my ideas and suggestions are and would be valued; there will be days I will quit 10 times in my head but I think we all do that with our jobs. Been waiting a long time to settle down and be a perm part of an organization…Yang wants to make that happen. Hell, if I can give folks like Craziest Bitch In America and Him and Prince Charming and the countless other crazy idiots I know across all spectrums second chances, I can give Yang some chances too. At least she is willing to make it worth my while.  And now…we wait.

Looking forward to seeing what next week brings as it should be interesting to see how we all handle the stress and snafus that come with crunch time and last minute deadlines. Now I have to go get ready for brunch and movies with Downstairs Neighbor and a possible date with the Old Jewish Man. As always, thanks for stopping past and reading and as usual….enjoy your day!


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