Secret Agent Man


It has been quite a week over here in my corner of the world and not quite sure what to make of it all. There was a great ad-related date; I know I said I was done with the ads and honestly, did not repost them. When I went to remove them, I saw I had maybe a week left for them to run and after reading some of the forums only a chick like me reads (all associated with the site where the ads are placed), I figured that I was buried beneath a ton of Asian spam and would never be found, so left it all alone.

And I am glad I did…anyone remember the guy from Alabama who last year invited me over to his hotel and had rose petals on the bedspread and champagne in flutes? Well, he answered my ad…again. And he remembered me! Said he lost my contact info and was hoping I was still online….and we had a great time! He brought me souvenirs from Chicago while on layover, was extremely generous and we spent our time talking, touching, watching football and having indoor naked picnic. Best.date.ever! He will be spending more time in DC and wants us to be a regular thing…we’ll see but I can say that time spent with him was just what I needed at that moment. There was another date but going to get to that dude in a minute.

On the work front, Yang is still bipolar as hell (and it is exhausting) but until something else (prayerfully better) comes along, I am stuck with her. Doing my part to be patient, understanding and proactive when it comes to her but anything sets her off. She got PISSED and hurt when I was taking orders for the family style, Chinese buffet Welcome Lunch for the new employee; she wanted to know why I didn’t just order a variety of meals and keep it at that. I said I wanted everyone to have a say in what they would be eating and then she says I did not include her in the email. Well….no, I did not because Yang was the one who coordinated the lunch! I was waiting for her to tell me what she wanted but she didn’t see that. She saw herself being used as a wallet and no say in anything. So she took her credit card back and ordered her own food…even after I told her I ordered her favorites when I did not hear back from her. She did not care about that…so we ended up with like 6 extra noodle dishes that folks ate off of for the rest of the week. But on Boss’ Day, she was so excited and pleased to get a card from us….I decided to get her a card and rather than have it come from just me, got the rest of the gang to sign off on it. It’s a fine line with her, all the time.

I interviewed for a perm job similar to the one I am doing now…low pay for a perm job but way more than what I am making now and it is a starting salary. Yes, I would love a salary that would reflect the value and efforts I bring to any position, but as long as I like/love my job, I can live with less. Seriously, all I want in a salary is to be comfortable paying my bills, affording a car and a couple of vacations a year. And to be able to go shopping when the mood hits. The interview went well and I was supposed to get an offer letter by the end of the week, but didn’t. Before getting upset, just waiting to see what this week brings. I did beef up my resume and applied to a couple more jobs; all I can do is put forth the efforts. A part of me wonders if/when Yang will make good on her promise of making me permanent because I am putting forth so much effort and doing far more than I should,  but then I remember her promise of NOLA (which ain’t happening) and I don’t feel badly about making me, my happiness and my sanity a priority.

Okay, back to the other date I had this week: it was with a guy who I am going to call Secret Agent Man and he is a walking contradiction. As far as I am concerned, there are flags everywhere. Everywhere. Although I wonder if a little bit of it isn’t me…after all, not the best judge of men so if he is rubbing me the wrong way, maybe he’s the right one? Lord knows we see what happens when they rub me the right way. And a sista is still crushing on Prince Charming. Let’s just call a spade a spade: despite the reality of the situation (the man is 2,000 miles away and married) and the truth (I can never trust him again and really want nothing to do with him….I just want Prince Charming to realize what he had in me), the potential of what could be still has me stuck in some ways. So, when it comes to Secret Agent Man, I wonder if I am making mountains out of molehills because I am still (in some ways) hung up on someone else. Probably not, but trying to be fair to all involved.

We met via the ads and the first thing that struck me was how tall he was. I am finding I like height in a man; remember I am 6’4” so finding a man in my height range who is genuinely interested isn’t as easy as it is for the ladies 5”8” and under. The second thing I noticed was how plain and average he looked. He is a cross between Doc Brown from the Back to the Future trilogy and the TV character Frasier Crane. He is bald except for some hair around the sides and few strands he works into a combover.  He is incredibly nearsighted…even with glasses on, he has to put everything like 2 inches from his eyes to see/read it. And he wore a suit…says he wears a suit every day, even weekends. (back to that in a minute) The time with him was pretty uneventful for me but he was in heaven! He raved about my skills, my body, my everythings….but he then he raised the first flag: he asked me to rate him as a lover. First, how can I rate you when you did absolutely NOTHING to me?? And when I say nothing…..I mean the man did not even touch me. Second, that question reeks of inadequacy issues and I have had enough of those from Him to last two lifetimes. THEN, he asked if we could see and get to know each other outside the bedroom? He wanted to take me on a date: dinner and a movie, which I agreed to.

He asked me to choose the venue and the movie which I kind of liked (I know what I am eating and seeing) but in a way, I didn’t. While it is nice to have someone who wants to make plans with you, it is a little nicer to either have the plans made or to make them together. Asking me to take over makes me think the man is submissive and I am not a fan of a submissive man. He shows up 5 minutes early (and I was 15 minutes late) and he was wearing….jeans. And tennis shoes. No suit or tie anywhere. I didn’t say anything but it’s a little fact that I have filed away. At the restaurant, he revealed he has self-imposed dietary restrictions: no sugar, no carbs, (beer and sangria don’t count), no cheese, no butter….which is when planning together would have been a good idea because my restaurant choice was Carolina Kitchen. Soul food is nothing but sugar, carbs, cheese and butter! But he did eat (we shared from each other’s plates) and he eats with his fingers. No comment.

On the ride to the movie theater to see Black Mass (he had read the book and was excited to see the adaptation), I asked where he worked…I already know his occupation. He says that it is classified; after all, he had done 20 years “on the inside” for the government and it was a matter of national security. Okay…you can’t tell me where you work but he basically gives me the address of the place and he tells me the details of his job there. But he can’t tell me the name of the agency. Maybe it is me, but folks working classified jobs that are a matter of national security are NOT searching pay to play ads on a lower end website. Another flag and when I couple the sense of false importance with the potential inadequacy, I am wondering do I even want to keep him around as a source of income. He asked me where he should park but kept rejecting my suggestions so I stopped responding when he asked. Another source of contention with me. Don’t ask me to tell you what to do and then not do it. But once inside, he held my popcorn for me, complimented me on my perfume and did not talk at all during the movie. And the ride home was uneventful…we chatted about the movie and the rude couple who came super late to the theater and asked folks to move down so they could sit together.

The next day, Secret Agent Man texted me….he had a great time, he wanted to spend more time with me but how to balance time spent together with time in the bedroom?  Call him with my answer. Well, I had to call in reinforcements because while not looking to traditionally date or looking for a relationship, free dinners and a +1 to movies and comedy shows (who drives!!) is always a bonus  (especially in the winter) so I was on the phone with Morning Person, Chef and Artsy Craftsy. We all came to the same conclusion: the going out and the bedroom would have to remain separate. For now…yes. Forever…who knows? But no more mixing business with pleasure. So I call up Secret Agent Man, but no answer. I call again in 20 minutes…again, no answer. He finally calls me back at 8pm (7 hours later); I couldn’t help but point out he was the one who said if I ever wanted to get in touch with him immediately, to call his phone. If he did not answer, he would return the call in less than 15 minutes. He comes up with he got distracted….again, a flag and a file away. But he agreed to keep things separate because my comfort was his #1 priority; however, since that conversation all I have heard from him is a good morning text. That’s it.

And there is my week….empty promises on the professional end, Secret Agent Man trying to give me a song and dance routine I have participated in far too many time before and a naked indoor picnic. Sounds about right for my life. Going to end this post because I need to get ready for work, eat dinner and hopefully watch some television.  I will be back soon (I know my life is boring but until my next ex-boyfriend comes along, it is what it is) with new posts and updates. As always, thanks for stopping past and reading and as usual….enjoy your day!

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