Back to the Future

Before I dive into today’s post, I want to thank my friends and readers (real world and Facebook) who reached out to me after my last post to express their sympathy and frustration at Nebraska’s behavior towards me. The outpouring  was totally unexpected and incredibly appreciated; the man is an asshole. That isn’t going to change. He has proven it more than once and he is NOT the guy you want around in any capacity, especially when one is emotionally unhealthy and your self-everythings are still in a precarious state. You know how they say some people bring out the worst in you? Nebraska is that person for me….lesson learned, let’s move forward.

So today’s title is a little two-fold and it deals with a story and an issue. The current assignment with Seattle Grace is the issue; rather the conversion process from temp to perm. More specifically, the agency that found me the assignment. Yang and I are great…our relationship is growing at a pace and in a direction I never saw coming. She is going to be my work friend in that office and I think I opened that door when I told her she could ask me anything, just be prepared for an honest answer. She agreed to reciprocate, we have gone from there and it’s been working out well. So the issue is not Yang.

One thing she asked for was a background check (par for the course)…nothing special, just a standard background check which would confirm that I did indeed pass a federal background investigation check which gave me my public trust clearance. She told this to the agency and the first thing the recruiter asked was could I pass a background check. It raised a flag but I dismissed it…after all, in 13 years of recovery and 12 years of work history, the background check has never presented itself to be a problem. Until now. That asshat of a recruiter ran a FULL background check and it is so ridiculous, I can barely find words to describe my disgust. It is 36 pages long, 38 criminal charges, 2 dates of birth and 4 people including me and my sister! The weirdest part is the majority of these charges could not have been applied to me as I was incarcerated 1996-1998. The report is a jumbled, erroneous MESS and THIS is what the recruiter is going to present to Yang. She swears she isn’t but I know she is…she isn’t going to run another report and this is her way to give me a heads up that she’s doing her best to fuck up my first time in a  long time permanent job. That or she is incompetent as fuck.

I went over to see the recruiter to find out how THIS came back during a standard background check and she is all: I don’t know!! The New York office ran it! Bullshit. The NYC office ran what you told them to run. I pointed out that the waiver I signed specifically states that the reporting agency cannot report negative information that is over 7 years old;  told her that this a background check for at least 4 people, what happened to MY report? She is swearing that she has no idea and what do we do? I told her to ask New York to run the STANDARD background check; I would handle the rest. So I am going to Yang with this joke of a report and for the first time since forever, I am going to explain my criminal past to an employer. Since I have entered recovery, my past has never had a direct influence over any aspect of my future…until now. Here’s the thing: I am not afraid to tell Yang; not afraid to answer her questions. It appears she is going to hear about it, may as well be from me. Haven’t felt this trust and willingess to be open with an employer since the Island; what I am afraid of is coming across as more trouble that I’m worth with the conversion process. Oh well….whatever happens, happens: either Yang will throw in the towel and turn me loose or she’ll dismiss the report as irrelevant, appreciate my honesty and we go forward. I’m good either way.

Now on to the story: I had a date…an honest to goodness, no money exchanged hands, out in public date. A meet and greet type where we went dutch. With a guy I met off Craigslist: he was a full foot shorter than me and had an uncanny resemblance to Michael J. Fox. I told him so and also told him I would be calling him Marty McFly, MJF’s character in the Back to the Future trilogy.  He liked that. Our meeting came about thusly: one day in an attempt to process the creepiest request EVER from my ads (dude wanted me to be his dead mother), I decided to read some CL ads to pass time and try to restore some semblance of sanity to my brain; you know how creeped out I was when I am looking to CL for sanity. McFly was looking for a girlfriend. One that he could start out as friends with; his suggestion was a casual evening doing dinner and movie, live music, a museum…something that involved getting out and about and holding a conversation. I’m all for that and I appreciated he said he was divorced, shorter and average all the way around. Nothing worse than a man who misrepresents about looks, height and status when all involved know you will soon find out what they really look like.

We agreed to late dinner and movie and to meet at Hard Rock Café which was half a block from the movie theater. He was dressed better than I expected in a dress shirt, slacks and tennis shoes (which was very Michael J. Fox-ish) and was both introverted and submissive. He requested I order meals for both of us and I had to prompt/remind him to eat. Preliminary discussions led me to believe he would be a pretentious, obnoxious bore but he really wasn’t. He was funny with lots of stories; the two that stand out are that McFly is a Freemason but has no idea how to access/attend the secret meetings. He jokingly said that his membership dues make their way to the Freemason membership committee but his meeting invites get lost in the mail. The other story was about how he was bullied by a homeless person into giving them not only a meal but money too and then was ridiculed by said homeless person because McFly could not spell “encyclopedia” correctly. I then told Marty that if he wanted to feed and pay people to bully and ridicule him, women posted on certain websites for that very thing and he would probably walk away far more satisfied.

I would like to say right here that I made a conscious effort to tone myself down…I realize I am a larger than life personality and can be a bit assertive without even trying, so I kept my stories and jokes low key (versus off color) and being a full 12 inches taller than McFly, did not want him to be nervous or intimidated….and I had already ordered his food, made him clean his plate and told him he needed a dominatrix. Me, toned down…no wonder I’m single.  Decided to let him be the man for awhile and lead us out the restaurant, except he led us to the back wall of the gift shop instead so I took the lead back. Thinking he was happy to give it up. On the way to the theater, we fed the homeless…rather, we gave a homeless guy with one leg in a wheelchair our leftovers from dinner. The man was super friendly and Marty and I ended up having a conversation with him. Weirdest thing: the homeless man said he sensed one of us was from Ohio and that is where McFly is from. McFly said he felt really good about feeding the man…I told him it feels good to do good.

The movie was amazing: laugh out loud funny (I actually shouted Oh My God at one point) mixed in with things only the emotionally unhealthy would understand and that made one think.  We saw Sleeping With Other People which bills itself as a romantic comedy with commitment issues. I need more of this movie in my life. After the movie, McFly and I hugged, said good night and parted ways. Doubtful we see each other again and I am more than okay with that. We met, kept our clothes on and had a fun evening. I had no expectations of meeting The One and if he did have expectations of sex, he kept them very well hidden. This is what dating should be…meeting folks, sharing an evening and if the feelings are there and mutual, do it again; if not, wish each other well and go forward with your life. Not cheapskates who molest you in the theater (I think I told the story about the Indian who balked at paying $7 + tip on a meal I grouponed and then proceeded to try and hand rape me in the movie theater) or guys who think a 15 minute coffee date qualifies for a game of naked twister.

So going to wrap this up for now because I have a big day ahead tomorrow beginning with the talk with Yang; if it goes well, I have a week of overtime and deadlines to look forward to. If it doesn’t go the way I think it will, I have a week of catching up on TV shows and sleeping in to look forward to. Fingers crossed it’s the former. I will return soon with new posts and Seattle Grace updates. As always, thanks for stopping past and reading and as usual…..enjoy your day!



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