Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be. Or maybe nostalgia doesn’t refer to heartbreak….after all, nostalgia is defined as a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one’s life; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time. And when it comes to heartbreak or ugly breakups, nostalgia only carries one so far. Eventually you hit the brick wall of what happened to us? and the reality of your fairytale romance hits you: they were idiots, liars, cowards, and just not what we thought they were.
In any case, I had an attack of….maybe not missing, but more of a what’s going on in your life now with PC…I admit I went looking for that…I’m still curious (my cousin, who bears a strong resemblance to Pink says I am not obsessed, but curious. I like curious….no stigma attached with/to that word). But along the way, Him and BTH dropped in my lap and that I was not looking for. Oh, and let’s not forget that the past is even trying to creep into my life via the ads…and all of these incidents have me shaking my head, scratching my head and saying what the hell? So I have named today’s post after a line from the 80s classic movie Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure….it pretty much sums this post up.
Shake My Head: Not sure how this happened as I was actually using the Facebook search for legitimate reasons (looking up a neighbor who has a room/apartment for rent) but all the stalking I did before with Him and BTH brought BTH front and center into my line of vision….and what a vision. The woman had a classic bathroom selfie of herself as a profile picture on Facebook, complete with a background of towels and robes, phone in hand covering her face and dirty/spotty mirror. Dressed in bra and panties. That’s it. Bra and panties bathroom selfie as a Facebook profile picture. Well, the picture opened up a brand new can of WTFness because no way was I leaving that alone: apparently the woman does have a job: she had a pay website that was complete with home videos and I am going to say (no one else says this) was pornographic and probably D/s in nature. The website is now defunct but there is a Tumblr page of the same name (and the intro sounds just like something BTH would say) that is filled with generic, pornographic internet images. She is currently a “model” with a profile on a one-step-above-shady site; she joined maybe a year into the marriage and on it she states that she is very selective about lighting and has no objection to nude photos IF you can tell her why you want to photograph her naked. I only have two things to say and one question: I told folks the woman was a hooker (Big Tittied Hooker, remember?) and I see why she and Him have separate residences…given the nature of her work, a husband would probably only interfere, especially on a daily basis. My question: this makes Him happy…how? Sadly, I probably know the answer to that.
Scratch My Head: UTA is right…these folks are boring. But since I had unwittingly fallen into the Facebook stalking with BTH, decided to check in on the Mexi-Cali-Utah crew. Last I checked in, her oldest daughter had started studying to be a medical assistant, MG was enrolled in a beginner’s English class and her only son had started working at GameStop….so was expecting a cursory glance at everything. And there.it.was. In black and white, MG declared that her husband loved her MUCH more than she loved him. He liked the status and in the comments was PC’s declaration of love for her on her Facebook page for me and all her Spanish speaking friends to see. In Spanish, he told her she was his love and he loved her 10 feet above the sky. Her response was to say Very Funny! (I thought it was incredibly romantic) It stung but not as much as I thought it would…but when I returned to re-read the words trying to will hurt and pain to return to me because I should be devastated all over again, the status had been edited!! She now was super stoked that it was cold in Utah and there was to be snow in the night. His comment, which had gone unliked…was gone. A look around PC’s page showed him to still be a single dad in Maryland…and I literally scratched my head. What the hell is going on with these folks? He refuses to admit anything, she can’t admit anything and while it has been offered PC knows I stalk him/them so he hides stuff, it doesn’t wash…if you are trying to deter someone, you show them how happy you are, how great your life is…you give them something to shut them up, not further speculate on. Well, at least I would. And what is there to hide? I know everything and have yet to spill his secrets to anyone involved with his other life. It would appear the Guilty Mormon that was Prince Charming is still leading a double life…but for who and with who? This may remain an unsolved mystery because I just don’t have it in me anymore to try and find out.
What the Hell: Oh, the ads…they range from a waste of time and money (zero responses) to nerve wracking (the guy who changed meeting times three times only to find out he only had $50 for a two hour session) to incredible ($400 to stick my thumb up some guy’s ass). It is supposed to be the ultimate in NSA but men, as simple as they are, turn complex when it comes to sex and for the headaches some of these responders cause me, I may as well be in a relationship. Does anyone remember The Man with the Biblical Name? He was a regular client around the same time PC and I were just starting out…in fact, had MBN actually followed through on his promise of a weekend getaway, I may never have gotten involved with PC. But, like most men when asked to produce on his promise, MBN disappeared and I didn’t even miss the man…and then I got a text from him a few days ago. He actually asked how had I been, what was up and could we hook up again. I asked who was this and then I asked him what happened to him…he disappeared. His response? He has been busy with work and had no time for weekends away. Busy with work…for an entire year. Really? The icing on the cake was when he wanted to cut payment in half because of our “history”…sorry, buddy….you ruined our history and I am simply no longer interested. Period.
As if my week weren’t already filled with enough for me to process, along came another responder from my past. I have no name for this dude…he is just a pasty, pudgy, on the wrong side of middle aged businessman. We used to meet weekly and I enjoyed seeing him because he was always prompt, always paid in full and was appreciative of my efforts. But he fell off and I got involved with other things…and then about 6 weeks ago, he emailed. He wanted to start back up on a weekly basis and he even upped the amount…we met three times and then he got weird. The arrangement was every Monday I email him to find out when he wanted to meet…he would respond with day and time. When I emailed him last week, no response. I wait a couple of days and email again. This time, he says I am not the only one and he has to be mindful of his budget and maybe we could do monthly. THAT pissed me off…not that I wasn’t the only one but the way he made it seem I was sweating him when this had always been our modus operandi. While I can appreciate his honesty, I don’t have to put up with the attitude or with being relegated to being basically a filler or part of a harem….I have my health and pride to consider.
So yeah, strange things are afoot at the Circle K (or maybe I should say Circle Ex) but no longer my problems. I do wonder how these guys could claim to be so happy with me, say they want something with me yet turn tail at the drop of a hat…some to marry others and some to return after an absence thinking we could pick up where we left off when they changed the rules of the game. But not spending too much time thinking it over…we all make our choices. I do feel had I been their choice, they would be so much better off, but from where I sit with their current choices…I am better off and that is all I care about today.
Okay, this was a little longer than I thought so thanks for hanging in there with me. Will be back soon with new posts. This is where I tell you what I am going to do with the rest of my day but it is midnight…I am going to bed. As always, thanks for stopping past and reading and as usual…enjoy your day!