Not sure what this post is doing here, but not wanting to get deeply emotional with the open letter to men (trust me, it’s going to go there) and feeling the need to just…talk. About everything on my mind and nothing in particular. I guess this post is about the in-between things that happen; you know the things (big or small) that take place in the midst of something else and it’s either too insignificant to mention alone or too big to grasp…so you let it go until it either rides off into the sunset or you can process it properly. I have lots of those moments, I just don’t talk about it a lot.
First thing, tomorrow I start the new assignment and while I am grateful and thankful…I am not happy. I don’t know these people, I don’t know the job and frankly not wanting to trek into an office I don’t know. There won’t be Boy Wonder and/or the Hard Headed One at the window when I arrive, Awesome One will not be there with her smile and cheerful good morning. The Smart One won’t come breezing through to say hello to everyone before getting his morning coffee to bring him to full wakefulness. No Sheriff checking the clock, no Feisty One to make lunch plans with, no the One I Love fistbumping everyone and no Harpo. No rides into town with Uncle Ben, no Sunshine, no jokes from my Favorite and no Good Looking One offering cake for pie. I will be a stranger among strangers and will have to prove myself all over again.
My only hope is there is no Craziest Bitch in America at this jobsite…when I worked for her, I was in the same building I am headed to tomorrow, just a different floor and agency. I ended up leaving that assignment because as much crazy as I deal with on a personal level, I cannot tolerate it in the professional realm. One must have an escape somewhere. If nothing else, I should be entertained: DC government manages to find the most extreme examples of workers. When I worked for the CBIA, there were employees sitting at their desks greasing their scalps and rolling their hair; showing up for work at 11am and lunching at 11:30am; and flirtatious men. Not very attractive, very much married flirtatious men. Not to mention the corruption that seems to be prevalent in every DC government agency…just hoping they aren’t looking for a scapegoat. Been there, done that one too. I do know there are NO expectations for this assignment…DC government is subject to do anything at any given time with no warning, and they will claim no knowledge.
While this weekend has been both productive and restful (save my wondering what the hell DC government has in store for me), I have been feeling Prince Charming’s presence which is making me slightly edgy and nostalgic. It isn’t like with the Him disaster where I constantly wondered what he was doing, was he happy with her, did he miss me…PC is doing whatever it is he does. It isn’t like when I realized that last time was the last time..when I Facebook stalked so much and so hard, I figured out at least 30 folks on his friends list (I made a list and kept it…I know, I know) and found out he was more than likely a Mormon (which explains a lot on a lot of levels)…I am still hung up on the man but in the way people are hung up on the last one until either they fade away or the next one knocks them out the box. No, I FEEL PC…I feel his presence, hear his voice and somehow this past week I have fallen back into the meal and sleep pattern I had when we were together. I am back looking at my phone, expecting a message from him. I am thinking of him and feel that he is thinking of me. Not sure why, but in a way it’s comforting and in a way has me thinking I am crazy, as in certifiable. I guess in a subconscious way, I am rebelling against the change that is taking place where he is concerned or maybe I am coming to the end of the process, although thinking I wouldn’t be feeling him so strongly. Would like to think it would be…Prince WHO? The only other option I come up with is we are truly soulmates…but with his lies, inability to face truth and reality and getting married, this option is highly unlikely.
The Oscars have suffered a loss so devastating, I cannot put it into words. And not trying to…first, it isn’t my story to tell and with all my life experiences, I have zero idea what it is like to lose a parent or a child. I can’t even say I understand or have an inkling of understanding. All I can do is offer my condolences and prayers and to let them know they do not grieve alone. They will get through this…they are strong people who don’t quit or give up in the face of adversity but this test is taking all they have.
Morning Person and I are still not speaking and it would appear she is also not speaking to other people…specifically Busy Bee. Call me what you will, but I am pretty intuitive and can put more than 2+2 together…Busy Bee has been calling me, just to talk. Not that we did not do that before, but it wasn’t as frequent as it is now. Morning Person was our conduit as we both spoke more to her than each other, so MP was the one who updated us on what was going on. But for the past 2-3 weeks, Busy Bee has been calling, telling me what’s going on with her, asking about me and wanting to make plans that involve only the two of us. She no longer asks me have I talked to Morning Person and no longer mentions the woman. Thinking if the two were still talking, Morning Person would have said (at the least) she no longer talks to me…and Busy Bee would ask me why because she is as nosy as I am. Maybe it’s me, but thinking there is more going on with Morning Person than just that argument we had.
I guess this is all the “other stuff” that has been happening…if I left anything out, it rode off into the sunset without me. Going to spend the rest of my Sunday showering, cleaning and watching Big Brother. Taking deep breaths and thinking positively that tomorrow will be great and I won’t miss my team too much. Have to remember the possibilities…in a good way, right? So, until next time…as always, thanks for stopping past and reading and as usual….enjoy your day!