It is a an absolutely gorgeous Sunday….and I have been nothing but a lazy, slothful lump of nothing. In between sleeping, I ate and used the bathroom simply because I had to. Now trying to do some light housekeeping while I wait for dinner to cook and Once Upon a Time to come on. Are you readers watching that show? It is AMAZING! And the current storyline incorporating the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz is sheer genius! Oh, in case you were wondering, AFO (if he was being honest) is in Germany and we did not see each other. My plan worked as I knew it would. I may not know how to draw the exes back but I sure know how to keep them away. There are blog posts I want to write…I want to tell you guys about the internal, emotional stuff going on with me, I want to talk about the Secret Lover and also talk about how Dottie and I are getting along (mishaps all around), but I need to find the right words, the right tone and figuring out how to make my full blown obsession with Prince Charming sound sane and reasonable. So today’s posting is a filler…a tiding over, if you will and will probably be the craziest, most entertaining in a dark way post you would have read in a long time. Sister Someone and Brother Everything have nothing on this dude.
It is an email from the 70 year old guy who answered my ad well over a year ago. I think I mentioned him in passing because he simply has no idea what the HELL to say out of his mouth…remember he said I was well over 400 pounds and needed a dentist. The following week, he told me he was falling in love with me. And while he was sweet (he paid handsomely, brought me cartons of cigarettes, doughnuts for me and Honeybee and once when I was sick, he brought me a plant and some chicken soup), I could not deal with him. I know I am anal retentive…everyone knows this, and he pushed my buttons every.time. He always wanted to take dumps in my bathroom, and this is me: going #2 in another person’s house is PERSONAL. I have to really know you and like you to allow your vilest odors to permeate my apartment…unless you are a child. Add to this the fact that the man once had skid marks on the FRONT of his underwear (which tells me he does not wipe well) and you want to lay your naked ass ANYWHERE in my place…no, not happening. We eventually stopped seeing each other because he was tired of abiding by my rules and that I would not see men on a constant basis; I got tired of having my rules questioned and constantly telling him that I did not need his help with who to share my body with.
See, The Old Man was into the paid arrangement lifestyle not for the convenience but for the lifestyle itself. He wanted a true working girl…the chick where this is her fulltime job and she is proud to be a turnstile. And he found her…she is a five foot, three hundred pound, heroin and methadone addicted chick who was working out of a truck stop motel. She shared the room with her heroin addicted boyfriend and his brother…they would be in one bed while she turned tricks in the other…and this is one hard working hooker. She had men in the bed, on the phone and knocking on the door all at the same time. According to The Old Man, she was in love with him…she shaved his pubic hair, she gave up a $5000 date to a White House dinner for his $100 offering and Eliot Spitzer himself (former New York governor and now CNN celebrity) wanted to whisk her away to a condo where she would be all his. But she told Eliot she could not leave The Old Man. I am not kidding.
So this email is an update from The Old Man about his relationship with the Hard Working Hooker…enjoy it and I will be back soon with new posts. As always…thanks for stopping past and reading and as usual….enjoy your day!
Hey , are you home? Can you talk on the phone? My life is all weird now . It would take pages to explain . N is back in Maryland . Her stay in West Virginia was a disaster so I arranged for her to stay with a woman friend of mine and she will move into a group home in rockville ,get medical treatment with Medicaid , get off methadone maybe and stop escorting and maybe we will have a non sexual relationship because she views me as a father figure (according to the woman who is acting as her mentor) . And I may have a sexual relationship as well as friendship with Nicole’s mentor . R the mentor is very sick with fibromyalgia , epilepsy , legally blind but a very uninhibited lover. We decided to be friends with benefits one time before N moved in with her . N does not know about r’s relationship with me .
Boy am I screwed up
This guy who she thought could take care of her lived in a trailer with junk and dirty clothes all over it . The hot water heater and the toilet broke down and she was freezing because the coal stove did’t take care of the leaky trailer walls and floors . The guy was always broke and didn’t drive so he couldn’t help her to get to the methadone clinic 20 miles away. Then I sent her money to see a crooked doctor who set her up with a months supply of methadone that she was going to sell part of to make some living expenses. But all the methadone was stolen while she was staying at the house of her late ex husbands sister so she was forced to buy pills on the street for $20 a day . Guess where that money came from .And her ex boyfriend told social security that she was working as an escort and staying in a $2000 a month motel . So her Ssi and food stamps were cut off . Ex Boyfriend was her trustee and money was sent in his name . And she couldn’t even turn tricks in West Virginia because everybody was on welfare and didn’t have any money until the first of the month and then they paid off their utilities and cell phone . N could’t afford her cell phone and the guy didn’t have long distance service . The town where they lived had a gas station , a post office and a Subway restaurant .
Anyway when she said she was going to north Carolina to live with her mentally disabled sister and the sisters alcoholic boyfriend we decided it was time for her to move into a group home in rockville where me and r could help her get social services and medical care . R took her to her internal medecine doctor yesterday and a neurologist today . R set her up with health insurance and is getting her to cut down on cigarettes, Mountain Dew and meat to try to get N’s seizures and High blood pressure under control.
So it’s going to be a long uphill battle but mama r and daddy me make a good team . Meanwhile I’m visiting my daughters in Boston and Maine until Sunday night and Monday I ca start repaying r for the money she put out on her credit card for prescriptions and taxis to the doctors .
I’m not too worried about R since she is much more disciplined than I am and makes saving people her life’s mission . But if N doesn’t shape up real fast R will drop her. And I can’t manage it on my own because R provides my cover story .
I was reaching the end of my rope with N when she was living in a motel and in West Virginia because she was blowing thru money so fast
But now she should be able to manage on social services.
My worry now is that when N gets into a group home she will be influenced by the other women that are on drugs and doing sex to pick up drugs or even buy cigarettes . I’m going to see if I can get her into some kind of volunteer work or part time job to give her a focus.
Pray for us😇😇