Hello, dear Readers and welcome to the last day of 2013. It has been a quick year….seems like last week, I was declaring 2013 to be the Year of Change (while all angry and frustrated) and next thing you know, I am hosting my Christmas dinner party which I once again swear I will never do… again. And now, 2014 is hours away…
When I look back on 2013, it was a pretty good year for me….hell, it was probably the best year I have had in a long time. I did cut out the stupidity (at least cut down on it), I landed an assignment that is turning out to be longer term than I thought and I love it (while learning new skills), I met an amazing man who brought happiness and change for the better into my life and I experienced emotional growth and maturity, which I plan to continue in 2014. I am declaring 2014 to be the Year of Action, which will be easier said than done.
This will be the year I actually attend the classes and concerts I buy tickets and groupons for and end up wasting my money. This will be the year I go to the museums, become a tourist both here in DC and in other cities, solo or not. Rental cars for weekend trips…so gonna happen this year. A real vacation…I want one and there is no reason for me not to take one. I can save money, make plans and get up and go. Probably won’t lose weight or quit smoking but I can maintain what I have and cut down on what I don’t need. Professionally, I plan to be proactive and keep putting my resume out there. I do love my assignment but with the new Sheriff, best to be prepared. Online classes are also part of the plan for 2014…the more skills, the better.
My circle will be smaller in 2014….not everyone will be along for the next leg of my journey and I am okay with that. I am not going to make out lists and decide who gets left behind and who goes forward…actions (or lack of) will decide for me. If your absence brings more solace and peace than your presence does…another decision I do not have to make. Stupidity will be stopped in its tracks, but good drama will be welcome at times. I am going to speak up when things anger, frustrate or rub me the wrong way….little things become big things when left unchecked. I plan to utilize my spiritual side more (which will more than likely make my circle even smaller) and attend church. Not sure if it will be on a regular basis but enough to keep my soul and faith fed and sustainable. I need action in all areas of my life…action encourages growth, and this coming year will be one of both.
Not sure if Prince Charming will make it into 2014 with me….yes, I still think he is amazing, and he is good for me (when he acts right): he keeps me grounded, he calms me down, and he has brought about a maturity and growth I and none of my Panel thought possible. Because of PC, I ask instead of accuse; I can state my fears and frustrations without using four letter words or threats of bodily harm; I can explain myself and my actions; with PC, I learned to trust again. I found out I can be happy with another and that they could be happy with me. He never saw my flaws, only my beauty. But Prince Charming is damaged goods and while he did let down his guard with me somewhat, his issues and baggage tend to put up walls, create excuses and cause him to not do things that (I believe) he really wants to (resulting in disappointments on both ends)…and right now, I have not heard from the man in a week. I have reached out in love, concern and anger and not one word in return. I have no idea what is going on, where he is and I can only go with the man must have run out things to say.
I am neither heartbroken nor devastated….more like shock and withdrawal (his attention was a drug and I was hooked) but I am okay with the present situation because I pray on it and leave it in my Higher Power’s care. I knew Prince Charming was a game changer and when the talks became more frequent, more personal, and none of what I was used to….it was clear I had no idea what to do. So I finally took Morning Person’s advice…I prayed on it. What I pray for most is strength to accept whatever happens and to not interfere….so far, I have done pretty well, and while I miss my PC terribly, it was time for something to happen. The man has to step up or step back…he can no longer lounge in the doorway of my life, blocking me in and keeping potential others out. IF PC makes it into 2014 with me, he will need to catch up, keep up or drop out of the race.
So these are my goals for 2014: to do more in all areas of my life (physically, mentally, spiritually) and become a more mature, responsible person whose social circle will encourage and empower her, whose professional life will challenge her and allow her a viable work/life balance and whose choices in her personal life will continue the positive growth and will bring a man who will love me as I will love him. Thank goodness I have 365 days make this happen. If you readers have any goals/resolutions you would like to share, feel free to comment or inbox me….I would love to know what others are looking to change in the coming year.
Wishing everyone reading a safe, fun, wonderful, prosperous and joyous New Year 2014!!!