Wonderland


This blog post has been sitting in my head for quite awhile…at least two weeks. But I wanted to make sure I knew which direction things were going to go with Prince Charming and I and that I was both accepting of and okay with that. Then I debated over how to put all the emotions and nuances into an update and finally decided to kill two birds with one stone. I am going to write PC a love letter (even though only Panel members are to get love letters) …that way I stay on track with the letters (Artistic One, yours is next, I promise!) and update you readers on what has been going on. I hope you enjoy and come back soon for more letters and updates. As always, thanks for stopping past and reading and as usual…enjoy your day! And wishing everyone a safe, wonderful and Happy Thanksgiving!

My Dearest Prince Charming:

To call this a love letter is both premature and appropriate…while I am not completely in love with you yet (trust me, I am only inches from the cliff’s edge and yes, I said the word yet), I am in love with the positivity and changes you have brought into my life in such a short period of time. From the very beginning you stood out as someone different, someone who could be a game-changer. You were the one from the beginning who checked off most of the boxes on my wish list without me having to overlook anything or settle for. With you, I accept (reluctantly) everything. Hell, you are the first single dad I have had to deal with (Him’s kids were grown and gone and Married Man had his wife watching his 7 kids with 4 baby mamas while he spent time with me) and I am more than okay with that.

You are the first man in many more ways other than being a single dad: you are the first man to tell me I make him happy, to say he liked me (and in more than a physical way) , he cared about me, the first guy who I trust completely, who makes me happy (a pure happiness, not one tinged with doubt and questions) , the first guy to be truthful with me about everything, to want me to be comfortable with myself, who wants me to see the beauty in me. You do not smoke but understand and tolerate my habit, you never curse me or around me which makes me want to watch my language more. You see me as a lady. You want for me to be better than I am now….you want for me things I never thought I would want for myself. You make me a better person.

With you, I am much more mature emotionally (seriously!)…. I am no longer screaming, hollering, spewing venom and beating folks over the head with cast iron skillets to express myself or get my point across. With you, I am acknowledged, able to express myself calmly (somewhat) and be understood, you offer explanations to help me understand you and will fix/change what you can. You actually douse the fires, not pour gasoline on them. But the biggest thing is no matter how crazy I get, no matter how frustrating I must be at times…you have never left. You said you wouldn’t and you haven’t. With you, I feel safe, protected and not alone.

Yes, I have cried over you but even that is a positive…it is the first time I have ever cried over the truth, and not an after the fact truth. You answered a premature question truthfully and I misconstrued things. I know I have been hasty and said unnecessary things, but you never call me out on it and do your best to defuse potential situations that my issues and committee come up with. I know I am still pretty guarded but then again so are you. Slowly we are revealing ourselves to each other and while the cement holding my brick walls is pretty dry, yours isn’t and I understand. Even about face time…when you are ready, you will be ready. Until then, we both agreed going slowly is the best option and I am still willing to see where we can take this…I just hope you actually want to take this somewhere. Time will tell. I have given the wrong men years…I can give you a little more time because for the first time, I think I know what the right guy feels like.

I do not feel I am giving up my life or putting myself on hold for you. I am not giving up some great social life for you….in fact, I was kinda hoping you would give me one but with you, I can embrace my homebodyishness (so not a real word) without fear or embarrassment. I am not turning down tons of suitors, and while you were instrumental in the ads coming down and you say it would not bother you if they stayed up, I do not want to be with anyone else. I like YOU, I want to be with YOU, regardless of the infrequency. Of course, I wish some aspects of this whatever it is we have were different, I am learning the difference between building something versus falling into something.

You are my Prince Charming: amazing, wonderful, super duper cute and holding the potential to help me slay dragons and make dreams come true. And with the hope you bring, you have transformed my life into a Wonderland.

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