One of these days, my trust and validation issues will be under control, my confidence and esteem will be at healthy levels (anything above 10% is welcome at this point) and I will no longer need to have arrangements with short, 70 year old men (in his response, he was 55 and 6 feet tall) who think telling me I look as if I weigh 400 pounds and need a dentist is okay. He actually said this (to my face..in my house) and this is the best part: when I asked him WHY he would say such things, he says it makes him feel better about his weight and diet issues. The man is on weight watchers, yet brags about eating entire pizzas in one sitting…sounds to me as if he needs to practice self-control and it all needs to be centered on his mouth..when he puts in it and what he allows to come out of it. And I need to trust the process and my Higher Power so I can start truly living and enjoying this new chapter of my life without bringing old chapters into it or letting people who can only feel good about themselves by making me feel bad about myself occupy one moment of my time. But that is fodder for another blog post.
So onto the reason for this post: I’m in love…again and not for real, but I have met a guy who makes me giggle, blush and actually bat.my.lashes. I know I have told you all about my office flirtations and that one guy in particular has me ready to lose 50 pounds and make him a man. MY man. I think he is cuter than hell as does UTA, Oscar and Morning Person. Morning Person says he is hands down, the best looking guy I have ever paraded before them (cuter than AFO AND Kiefer, the One Date Wonder)…Oscar (who sent me the most beautiful love letter in response to hers) says he is cute in a dorky way. Honeybee says the man looks like Eddie Haskell (thinking it may be the eyes, mouth and wholesome good looks) and I actually thought of calling him Eddie Haskell, but sticking with Work Boyfriend, now forever known as The WB.
I am working as administrative support/Intake person for an IT department, so I get to see/meet lots of guys…and this place has men that put Abercrombie & Fitch models to shame. Tall, short, muscular, slim, brooding, good looking, straight white teeth…blondes, brunettes, redheads, bald, white, black, Middle Eastern, Latin…for a single girl browsing the market to see what is out there my job is a perpetual Eye Candy Parade. The WB does not fall into this category…he isn’t stop dead in your tracks handsome. He is not exceptionally tall and has an average body type. But he has the best smile and his personality is sweet and quirky with a slightly dark edge to it…and not dark and edgy in a creepy way. More in a he is the guy you would trust to live out slightly kinky fantasies with and the one you would trust to explore different things with. I don’t see him being the gym rat or even that active: he may play soccer or baseball, but I see him as the chill boyfriend who watches your favorite TV shows with you, movies, dinner, bowling, and the type where you could both be in the same room doing your separate things but still feel connected with. (Side note: don’t you just love how I make up lives and personalities for folks I really don’t even know? )
He’s smart and in more than an educated way: when I put him on the spot, he agreed with me that I was very pretty and not fat. Granted, it was a coerced compliment, but you have no idea how many men would still mess that up. Or maybe you do..I know I do not have a monopoly on stupid men. He tells me about his weekend, his work and has even vented frustrations to me about the defective laptop, the real-life girlfriend with the attitude who is on her way out the door and out of his life. He has told me about his siblings, nephews and his parents (who share the same birthday…no lie). He has a great sense of humor and really, when he looks at me I feel like the only person in the room. We both get teased by my co-workers: they want invites to the engagement party and tell me he is finding ways and means and excuses to come see me.
Honestly, I would love to make him my work husband but that requires a lot of things to happen, including a level of commitment that neither of us can handle: we would actually have to be working in the same department, not just the same company. It would involve lunches together, sharing a workload and me doing more than providing a service for something no one ever wishes to have…a defective computer. Besides, right now we cannot even be work boyfriend/girlfriend on a fulltime basis. I have not seen the guy in a week and a half…since he last got his laptop repaired and I kinda dumped him. See, I told him I needed strings at the most and at the least, a guy who wanted to see me, not see who I can get to repair his laptop issues . Of course, the next time I saw him, I was back calling him my boyfriend simply because he was so cute and I was so happy to see him…I clapped my hands together like a little girl at her birthday party and announced to anyone within hearing range: He’s here! He’s here! And he not only allows me to do these things and call him my boyfriend to any and everyone, he gets a little upset when I don’t. It’s weird, but is fun and flirty and for now…innocent and harmless.
The WB does make going to work fun and helps my day go by a little more smoothly when he shows up, but lately the Eye Candy Parade has had some new members that have left me with my mouth hanging open and wishing I were a 25 year old blonde who works out and jogs on Saturday mornings so maybe I don’t need to be tied down with anyone, real or imaginary. I am collecting WBs left and right…my co-workers say I am starting up a harem, but they know who my favorite is. It has been suggested I IM him but that would make it serious somehow…and serious with ME being the pursuer. Not going to happen…the last two men I pursued (Him and AFO) have shown me that since I have zero idea what and who is worth pursuing, I need to wait and see if someone finds me being worth their time and effort. But I am in no rush for that from anyone…being single can be fun and even better when you are just browsing the merchandise…one does not have to make a pitch or purchase right off the bat, do they? I like the conversations I have with the WB, I do enjoy seeing him come around but there is no liking or loving going on…I just heart him, which in my book is the equivalent of school girl crush…there will be no pursuits over school girl crushes.
Well, this I do hope you enjoyed something light, fluffy and different for a change. A always, thanks for stopping past and reading and as usual….enjoy your day!