The Honeymooners


Oh, how I miss writing on a somewhat regular basis. Not that my posting was so regular before (well, with the Him fiasco and when incredible stupidity pops off like firecrackers on the 4th of July) but when I was on my own schedule, when I was ready to write something, I just did. When I needed to get something off my chest and to vacate my mind, I wrote. Now, I have to wait for spaces of time and for tiredness to ebb away, and it seems to do sooo slowly…sometimes too slowly. Writing is a release for me, as much as masturbation is for the highly sexed, and for the record, I have not released in either way in a what seems like forever, but we will just deal with the writing release within this post. I put you readers through too much as it is.

There is so much going on: I got my first paycheck (YAY!) but I have to pay my own state taxes as the agency only pays taxes in the state where the assignment is located for unemployment purposes; DC wants $400 a quarter with the first quarter beginning April 15th. Seriously? My tax refunds came but the feds cut mine short by an additional $244 by DC Tax and Revenue (who issued me my refund in full)….would love to know why. I guess my letter of explanation is forthcoming. I had a “date” with a medical student who declared I was pregnant. Yes, pregnant …and nearing the end of the first trimester…there is now a new rule during the sessions: NO. TALKING. Behind the blogs is a friggin’ MESS….as soon as I think we have sorted through the carnage and wreckage, more crap comes our way. Some of it I cannot talk about right now, but some of it I can…I worry if it is gossip or comes across as such but I am choosing to look at it this way: every therapist needs a therapist just to shed themselves of other people’s shit…and this blog is my therapy.

So today, we are going to blog about Brother Everything…the love of Sister Someone’s life, her soulmate and now…her husband. (Side note: if you are a new reader or need to catch up on their story, search this blog site for Sister Someone…make sure to have plenty of aspirin on hand) The man is not my cup of tea at all….he is nice enough I suppose…I have nothing against the man, but if ever there was a man who showed me what I don’t want or need in my life, it’s Brother Everything. He is a male goldigger who at the ripe age of 45 has absolutely nothing in his name, save a debit card. He has his name on no lease or deed to some sort of domicile, he has no car, and even Sister Someone bought the clothes on his back. This is a man who has lived his entire life off of a woman, beginning with his mama and his ego and sense of entitlement are both off the charts. The man is God’s gift to hear him (and SS) tell it…the only reason he does not walk on water is because the waters part when it sees him coming.

The man is an alcoholic and with him, absolutely everything has a price tag attached to it. For Christmas, he actually left the tags on the presents he bought his wife and for the items he got “hot” off the streets, he made sure she knew the retail market value. The roses for Valentine’s Day cost $75 and he made sure she knew it and what he expected as repayment (anal sex, which by the way, Sister Someone is not into). He is constantly inviting and entertaining his family and friends at “his” house, talks about how SS has been in accidents with “his” cars and Lord knows, the man is not used to riding around in fucked up cars. This, from a man with a suspended license, countless speeding/parking tickets and who was on public transportation not a year ago. Oh, and when I suggested he take his own money and buy his own car…I was told that he does not want to pay a car note. Let his wife do it..after all, they were a two-income household and hers was the bigger and more important income that could handle things like notes, bills and payments.

Yet, when he owes you or you buy him something…do not expect repayment. It’s his due, you know. Yeah, Brother Everything is a piece of work…even his seemingly selfless gestures come with strings attached: his calling me in the morning to make sure I am up on time for work is only to keep me in good standing so I can vouch for him should he get called in for an interview with the firm I am now assigned to…the man has been scouring their website and applying for jobs there. I have no idea what Sister Someone sees in this man, but it appears that the honeymoon is over for them. The stories are coming fast and furious from Brother Everything which tells me that Sister Someone is opening her eyes, growing a pair and letting the claws out.

First thing I should let you all know is neither of them can cook and neither likes to clean up yet neither will spring for a housekeeper…so the state of the household is a constant source of friction: mounds of dirty laundry everywhere, fast food bags and carry out food boxes all over the kitchen, a suitcase still packed from a weekend trip taken 3 weeks ago sits untouched. This is nerve-wracking to Brother Everything (I wonder why as he left her before over her lack of housekeeping skills), who says Sister Someone is lazy and refuses to help him clean, so he stopped doing it. He says all she wants to do is spend her money on useless things (in other words, not on him) and he is done being the maid. So who knows how the house is looking at this point…previous photos shared with me and the Panel had us shaking our heads and destroying the evidence so housing inspectors would not see them.

The second point of contention is BE’s drinking…the man is an alcoholic although according to BE, he has cut back substantially. Now, Sunday-Thursday, he only drinks beer (an average of 6 beers per day) and saves his hard liquor/serious drinking for Fridays and Saturdays…and he says Sister Someone enables him with it by purchasing 30 packs of beer and half gallons of liquor for him. (I really wonder WHAT he spends his money on…the woman supplies him with everything!) Well, apparently the drinking is no longer working for Sister Someone who told him (out of the blue) either he stop drinking and seek professional help or she would leave him, and that caused BE to raise.the.roof. He told her in no uncertain terms that he was drinking before her, when he met her and would still be drinking after she left. She was a fine one to talk with all her enablements and she was in no place to judge him or change him. He wasn’t an alcoholic…he liked to drink and it helped him to cope with this cookie-cutter lifestyle she had forced him into and either she wanted him, alcohol and all or she didn’t. And if she didn’t, prepare to start paying spousal support…since she had the bigger income and was the one initiating proceedings, she would be the one to pay. Sister Someone dropped the subject, but not before backpedaling and saying she would never leave him, but he better do his research on spousal support…not one penny of his income went into their household or the care and raising of the child..so at the end of the day, who had the bigger income?

The third source of contention is Sister Someone’s suspicious nature and innate distrust of Brother Everything. I used to think the woman was flat out dumb when it came to this man, but I am going to retract that….the woman was smitten hard and used delusion and denial to help her deal with the glaring flaws in him…pretty much , the things we all do when we want things to work out. But now, she is waking up and has smelt the coffee. Not sure what BE is doing to raise her suspicions but I will say this much: the man is doing something as SS is not the one for confrontations or off the wall accusations and she has come out the gate with both fists swinging. Sister Someone has called Brother Everything’s Ex, telling her she knows the two are still seeing each other and she wants that shit to stop. NOW. SHE is Brother Everything’s wife and whatever The Ex and BE had is over….if they want it to continue, it will be over her dead body as she is not ready to give up being Sister Someone-Everything. There is more, but it got lost in translation but it pretty much included threats, name calling and invitations to meet her at a street corner and settle things. The Ex wasted no time in calling Brother Everything and telling all…and he, in turn wasted no time in confronting Sister Someone. Who denied everything without batting an eyelash. I was in total shock when the news got to me….a part of me was unsure whether to believe it or not (especially when I was asked not to say a word to SS) but I can see something like this going down. SS is ghetto as hell when she wants to be and The Ex has always been a thorn in Sister Someone’s side as BE insisted on maintaining some sort of friendship/relationship with the woman. The other part of me was cheering for Sister Someone for standing up and putting her foot down…it may all be too much, too little, too late but damnit, she is doing something to show her husband that he needs to do right by her in some capacity.

After her denial of involvement, Brother Everything had nothing to say…what could he say? He did not accuse her of being a liar…he told her he believed her because she was his wife but if he had another phone call telling him of this crap, there would be consequences. Sister Someone’s retort was if there were anymore phone calls between the two, he would be dishing the consequences from The Ex’s house/bed/whatever because she was not dealing with a cheater in any shape, fashion or form. That is when BE started bashing The Ex, calling her a crazy, weed-smoking drama queen. Like I said before, the man is a piece of work.

So this post ran longer than I thought it would but now we are all caught up on the marriage which the groom himself gives no more than a year to last. Now I have to clean, put away laundry and start my next post after I get off the phone with Buddy who is on a real date with someone new (he and Boo have broken up again) and has no idea what to do or say. Maybe it is me, but if a guy is coming to pick me up for a date at midnight… he has dollars, I have condoms and we have an understanding. But, to each his own. As always, thanks for stopping past and reading (and check back soon for new posts) and as usual….enjoy your day!

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2 thoughts on “The Honeymooners

    • The only thing I am surprised by is that it has taken this long. LOL
      And I totally splurged on shopping with the paycheck…I will suffer for another 6 weeks, but it was soooo worth it.

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