I have been promising blog posts on at least two topics for like…ever: football and Meredith Grey (I have been promising a post on her so long, I think I am the only one who remembers); a political post has been dancing around the edges and I had decided against not airing my political stance, but things are getting utterly ridiculous so I may write that one next, in a totally objective way, of course.  But today’s post is just a collection of things that have been happening this week.

I have a cold (or perhaps I am severely allergic to cleaning cat shit) so I feel like crap. In a tightly sealed bag submerged in water. But I also do not like just laying/sitting around…well, sometimes I do but today, I want to feel productive and since I have not posted in  a week and domestic chores (carpet cleaning and laundry) are sounding as if they would require superhuman efforts which I am not exerting today, I am going to post. Not a lot has been going on so this post will probably be short (and boring). Bear with me though…I will try to make it up to you readers somehow.

First, I have to tell you Oscar is having a girl! She is super excited, nervous and in disbelief, but I told her, you and everyone else here first. It seems the further along she gets, the more concerns and fears arise with Kayla’s father (and while I do  have Oscar’s permission to talk about that situation, it is best to let more pieces fall into place before letting it loose…we all know how quickly things change around here) but I do have some advice for our Little Mother. Some lessons are simply hindsight….no matter what you do to try and correct the situation, make things right or reach out either for help or to help…it will not do one ounce of good. The person was there for a reason (that reason being Kayla) and you just have to pick up and do what you have to do alone. Personally, if I have made it this far without you being in the picture….I do not need you in the picture. There are too many resources available to single mothers and God forbid if the father mans up and ends up being Him, Jr. 2.0.

Second, I have joined the 21st century…finally. I have an android Smartphone for my new cell phone. It is an HTC OneV and I have an actual plan (non contractual), not pay as you go although if I miss a payment, they have no problems shutting me down, so I guess it is pay as you go, right? I have no idea what I am doing with this joker but Cuz is coming over to help me get used to it and learn how to navigate it…I think he may be more excited than I am. Before it came, he called me twice a day, everyday asking if the phone had arrived. Every day I said no, he simply hung up. Well, not quite like that but you could tell if there was no new phone, there was no conversation. And the day it came, he was rushing me to meet the FedEx guy at the door; Cuz says with the arrival of the 21st century cell phone, we can get the band back together: he will be BlackDaddyDynamite (the rapper), I will be Bottom Bitch (I still LOL at the nickname), the DJ (no one is ready for the beats I am gonna drop), my Neighbor is HoneyBee (the backup singer), Chef is the Doorman (collecting tickets and money) and Him and AFO are Cream Corn (the backup dancers, complete with MC Hammer pants). I am getting a mental image and I may have to return the phone.

Last but not least, I am pet-sitting this week. I have always said that there is not much I won’t do for a dollar and this proves it, without a doubt. First, let me say just because I do not have pets (or children) does not mean that I do not love them or enjoy being around them, but I know me…I need them both in small doses and there are no small doses with animals. Dogs want constant, undivided attention and cats only want to be bothered when you don’t…fish may be suitable but I don’t think they can hear you when you talk to them. In any case, pets are like children except you do not get the added bonuses of them picking up behind themselves and being toilet trained. Oh, did I mention they are hell-bent on world domination?

This trio of pets I am caring for this week are a female dog who is maybe 12 pounds but has the personality of a 500 pound, angry black woman….I call her The Distraction…she is hyper as hell (do animals have ADHD?) and into everything, all the time. There is a sweet, quiet male cat I call The Lookout and there is a female cat I call Queen of the Domain. The Distraction and I had a rocky start…the dog would always bark and growl at me and has bitten me twice although we have become good friends since then…she now barks at others in an effort to protect me! When I tell her to shush, she looks at me as if to say: I am PROTECTING you…RECOGNIZE! She greets me at the door and in her excitement at seeing me and her quest for a treat, she almost knocks me down. Every.Time. When I enter the living room, where The Lookout is standing guard, The Lookout runs to wherever the Queen is to alert her of my arrival. The Queen is a TRIP….when I am in the kitchen, I have The Distraction dancing in front of me looking for food (while her dish of food sits untouched) and the Queen is meowing, demanding her food. She will not eat unless I am holding her food bowl (she is sick right now and has to have medication)…the one time I left her to feed herself, she knocked the bowl onto the floor and fled….I was having conniptions shooing The Distraction (who got in a healthy mouthful or two) and The Lookout from her food. The Queen goes to the bathroom wherever she sees fit, which is NOT in her litter box. I put down fresh litter, scoop it twice a day…everything. She still goes in the kitchen or the bedroom floor, which means I am really cleaning cat shit versus scooping poop. I have caught a cold dealing with the animals and everything smells like cat poo….the back of a cab, my apartment, me….it all smells like cat poo.

Today though, The Queen was really sick….lethargic, not eating, hiding and puking everywhere (the puke gave away her hiding places). I called everyone asking did they think she was dying and finally did what I should have done in the beginning….called her vet who gave me new meds for The Queen. She did show up for feeding time and ate her food and medication (I was standing there like a statue holding the bowl), and drank some water so hopefully she is back on the mend. Now I am about to g get a shower and get my laundry ready for washing tomorrow. I also need to call unemployment (again! I swear, I am either about to get a full time job or a sugar daddy of epic proportions) in the morning so I am thinking the animals are getting an early morning feeding.

As always, thanks for stopping past and reading (and new/interesting topics coming soon) and as usual….enjoy your day!




2 thoughts on “Chit.Chat.

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