This post is going to be a little random, a little convoluted and cover three things that are on my mind. I am writing this for me but do not mind sharing with you if you are willing to stick with it.
- First, I am pretty much okay with the Flash in the Pan that was Air Force Officer. Regardless of how it ended, I knew it had to end. And when we both decided to step outside our comfort zones to do this, we both overlooked a lot of red flags. For him, the fact that I told him that no one had lain in my bed with me since my ex, he should have realized I saw in him the potential for more than a fling. AND the fact I suspended the financial obligations? It is beyond evident I am ready to jump into something with someone. And that lets me know I do not know what I want and am seeking externally to fill the voids. On my end, I recognized some of the issues but thought they would/could stay under wraps until we were over: his shyness, inadequacies and insecurities…the lack of confidence and his jealousy/possessiveness took me by surprise. He kept asking what I liked about him, his body, was he big enough and the fact he threw all those questions at me about how often I have sex DURING sex…it is the male equivalent of a female saying I love you during sex. I was asked would I want to hear from him again, and I honestly do not know. Doubtful if he will initiate contact but I am almost certain if I did, we would be right back where we left off, and I know I could not deal with these things long term and long distance would only exacerbate his issues. The man has not had a girlfriend since he joined the military almost 17 years ago and it is clear he could not handle a relationship of any type, not to mention the fact he wants to let the crazy out whenever AND not reciprocate. He has to be able to either return the favor or stay sane if not both. And I do not think he can.
- This second piece of news came while I was mulling over the first topic and missing having AFO in my space, place and bed. It is going to be the topic of my next blog post once we get more information but here is a sneak peek. Brother Everything has PROPOSED MARRIAGE to Sister Someone!!! Initial reactions from the Panel have been disbelief and shock: Morning Person made me repeat myself ten times, I think New Mommy stopped cooking, Cuz laughed for like…ever, Chef poured himself a stiff drink and I am thinking Tiger’s eyes popped out of his head and his jaw dropped. Artsy Craftsy wants to know why people want to lose their mind once she goes on vacation and me…my initial reaction was a deep, deep jealousy, envy and hatred. THIS chick who cannot cook, clean and is crazier than authentic batshit gets a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL and me…sweet, honest, kind, loving…gets the crazy no one has ever heard of! Maybe I should start paying for it or perhaps just hold the man captive in my apartment until I wear him down with my crazy…but my temper tantrum can wait because there are discrepancies all over the place with this latest development. Not five days ago Brother Everything let us know Sister Someone had given him a wedding date of May 18, 2013 and suggested he get busy with saving his dollars to buy her a ring. Then two days ago, Brother Everything lets us know he has a Plan B in place and would be gone no later than Christmas (what is it with this guy always ducking out at Christmas?) and now…he has proposed. And Sister Someone was not happy, excited, elated or even gloating when she called to tell me her news…she was in shock and confused. Yes, they had discussed marriage but not in depth and not for long. No, she had no wedding plans and no plans to make any…she had to get used to being engaged first. So…one of them is lying…the question is: which one?
- So, I am completely discombobulated over pretty much everything at this point and I have to admit, I felt a tad guilty over not being able to be happy for Sister Someone. The chick has worked hard to achieve her goals and I was the first person she called to tell the news to, and all I want to do is slap her silly. I decided I needed some ice cold Pepsis (my version of hard liquor) and a nap but wanted to take Guardian Princess her birthday present first. Yes, it was her birthday and according to her, she is a dyslexic 16. She loved her present (a battered brass bracelet with turquoise stones) and insisted I accompany her and the Church Ladies to a birthday party/cookout that evening. I protested and did my best to beg off, but she was persistent, stating it would not be the same if I were not there. And so I went (after a delicious nap in my bed which I no longer have to share)…and had a BLAST! The foods were all homemade and mouth watering: fresh hamburgers, ribs, chicken, sausages and brats on the grill; potato salad, tuna salad, chicken salad with raisins, apples and nuts; grilled corn on the cob; baked beans; spinach salad with strawberries, eggs, bacon and bleu cheese; garden salad with three types of lettuce, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, eggs, broccoli, cauliflower, onions, peppers and shredded cheese. Ice cold waters and sodas. Wine, liquor (the spiced rum went quickly) and a homemade sangria made with blush wine, coconut rum, Alize, Mountain Dew and various fruits. And the birthday cake?? Beautiful and delicious …lemon with lemon mousse and white butter cream frosting. There was music (Motown, Sam Cooke and some George Clinton), dancing and a trivia contest that I won by a landside but the winning question was to correctly name the main four Sweathogs on Welcome Back Kotter.(Vinnie Barbarino, Juan Epstein, Arnold Horseshack and Freddie Boom-Boom Washington) There were random and interesting conversations, I cracked jokes, pulled corn from my cleavage because those kernels were flying everywhere as I ate (I think they thought it was a magic act or something), and knew this was what I needed to restore some sort of mental/emotional balance. Amazing…Guardian Princess’ birthday and I got the present.
Today, I am still jealous over Sister Someone but working on putting things in perspective. I miss Air Force Officer (not the crazy parts) but realize he cannot give me what I want and need. I do not view me stepping outside my comfort zone as a mistake but rather…an adventure, and one I would do again with someone I felt something with/for. If nothing else, it made real the saying that it happens when you least expect it….I am just glad I have been through enough to recognize when it will not work. It is a lazy day here for me…cleaning, resting, folding laundry while I wait for Big Brother, and is anyone ready for this one? NEBRASKA has emailed…he is in town and cannot wait to see me. Is it just me or did I not tell this guy NO like a thousand times already? Not even going to attempt to handle this…maybe a lack of response will tell him what he needs to know.
As always, thanks for stopping past and reading, and remember to stay tuned for the continuation of the Sister Someone/Brother Everything saga. As usual….enjoy your day!