I am supposed to be working on the Sister Someone/Brother Everything post, but this is not it. I am procrastinating….big time. It has been awhile since I have talked about them in depth and there are good reasons for that. First, the posts about them are draining. You know how your head hurts and you keep trying to make sense of the convoluted ridiculosity that is them when you are reading about them? It is ten times as bad trying to keep both stories straight (you KNOW they each have a different account of what is happening)…that involves a lot of verification and questioning and repetition because you have to make sure you heard them right and that they are serious with what just came out of their mouths. Writing the posts requires at least one pack of cigarettes, one bottle of motrin and 2 24 ounce ice cold Pepsis and most importantly, it requires input from the Panel members assigned to this particular project.

Here on the Panel, we have what I like to call projects (persons who bear watching because of their deep end tendencies), drama (deep end tendencies in effect but not so far gone they cannot be reeled in) and fiascos (full blown drama where all we can do is wait for the dust to clear)  and we “assign”  certain Panel members to certain projects, dramas and fiascos. We all cannot be on the same task at the same time…each  and every one of us is a project and we seem to keep 2-3 dramas going at a time. Assignments are not random…we match members with projects based on the member’s ability to both relate and rehabilitate the project: age, similar issues/experiences and personality all factor into that equation.

Take me for instance: I have four members assigned to me at all times: Cuz (he is the only one who could probably restrain me if physical violence ever rears its head), Morning Person (she is the one who will sit me down and MAKE me listen to her), Artsy Craftsy (she is the one who will calm me down by letting me talk and rant and vent or if things are good, will let me sing praises until I am hoarse) and UTA…she is the one who will make what I don’t understand make sense. And have I told anyone how much I love this chick? She is just so real and so…patient. Not quite the word I am looking for, but it will do. She knows that while our situations are somewhat similar, they are not the same and can make her point and point out the differences without being all smarty-pants about it. She sympathizes, empathizes and will put a stop to an unwarranted pity party in a New York second. I think all of those are  important qualities to have  and admire those who have them, but the best part is UTA has enough crazy and weird in her to actually want to be here on the Panel.

Girlfriend, Oscar and New Mommy are usually the Damage Control team…they come in afterwards to assess and administer therapy if needed; Buddy and Chef are part of the Preventive Maintenance team…they TRY (really, really hard) to give the necessary warnings, advice and alternative plans to prevent drama and fiascos. They are not always successful. Of course, not everyone enjoys their assignments and Girlfriend wants OUT of hers…immediately. She wants a transfer to the Air Force Officer project  and with her experience and fetish for military officers (I pointed out that she is into Marines but as she put it…military is military) she would be perfect for it, but I am thinking that project is pretty much defunct. No communication from the man since he went back to the Gulf Coast and I am already working on what will probably be yet another drama. She says we can make it a Wait and Watch…if Nebraska, Him and Married man are any indication, I tend to not only bring out the crazy in men, I bring them back for more.  I don’t know…we’ll see.

The Lead Member on the Sister Someone/Brother Everything project is Tiger and I swear, I am replacing him with UTA. UTA stated a long time ago that bitches be crazy (applicable for any ongoing drama) and the two deserved each other but being part of the Project DC team is pretty much full-time AND she has her own crap going on. So as much as Tiger may want out of the project…he will be sticking with it. Tiger was selected for SS/BE because  he knows what it is like to be in like/lust/love and wanting to make it work, even when the other person does not reciprocate, for some strange reason even though he knows the whole damn thing is ridiculous and surreal, he empathizes with SS and wishes only she would consider the effects on her son and lastly…they were being quiet and Tiger BEGGED for an assignment that would not be draining in any manner. And now…this happens and when I asked the man what his plan was he replied that he planned pretty much the way Brother Everything did and we all see where Brother Everything is right now. I am not going to yell or fuss….what’s the point?  Sister Someone is going to do things her way and we would have this same end result, regardless of who was assigned to it. SS/BE are a tricky situation in the best of times but I will have to remind Tiger that when things are quiet…disaster follows. BIG disasters. You HAVE to stay on top of the quiet.

So, I guess since there is no other input to be considered and no other perspectives to be offered, I have no choice but to head over to the corner store, stock up on supplies (I am thinking chocolate may also be needed) and get busy putting this fiasco into writing…maybe together, we can figure out how to avert Sister Someone/Brother Everything from becoming national news.



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