I have been being social…in the past three days I have had dinner dates, saw the most awesome movie (Beasts of the Southern Wild…if it is playing in your city, I strongly urge you to see it), and went to a museum exhibit celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Titanic (and her sinking). I am going to say I have been flirted with but more than likely they were backhanded compliments…the cashier at the movie theater gave me a $3 discount on my movie ticket, except he gave me the senior citizen discount. And please note that one has to be 62 and above to qualify for that. Then some guy…younger, taller (than me) approached me on the street saying he loved a tall, pretty girl. Except he was wandering the streets of downtown aimlessly at 10pm (which tells me he had no destination or agenda), had no cell phone and looked to be still in college. Maybe he thought I was a sugar mama? Because while I pride myself on my youthful looks and demeanor, no way would I be mistaken for a anyone below the age of 35. Oh, did I tell you that when I left one of the restaurants, the waiter came behind me and my party to thank us for our patronage and caught me scratching my ass?
In between the socialization and the ass scratching, I have been trying to build a case to approach both Sister Someone and Him about their respective situations (I simply can no longer refer to them as relationships/marriages) and the impending explosions that await them. Trust and believe, things are going to be exploding all around us and I am really not trying to have a casualty count. So my thinking was if I present them with a rundown of facts both heard and observed….if I tell them I am doing this with their best interest at heart and to prevent further hurt and heartbreak, would they listen or would they view it as I do at times…who am I to be the one to shatter the delusions? I built some strong cases which I have outlined below and reached a unanimous decision for both of them which I think everyone will agree with.
Sister Someone: The woman is a liar and a half filled with delusions, denial and illusions of grandeur. She has bought into the hype and believes it in a way that defies logic and explanation. I mean, this is a woman who has admitted to having had a wedding planner on retainer since she first met Brother Everything (and it is statements like this along with the illogical actions that have led Artsy Craftsy and Morning Person to declare they would rather I re-hash every Him incident or build up a fantasy romance with Air Force Officer than read about anymore of SS/BE’s antics). The girl is ready to hitch her wagon to his star and as her friend, I think she should know the entire story behind his return and his change of heart. I mean, wouldn’t you want to know that the man simply proposed because you made him, or that he’s saying he will “more than likely probably will marry you since you led him to slaughter”? That the man is still having lunches with the Ex or that he considers you to be not a bad catch because you give decent oral. Does she not realize that she is being used in all ways simply so he does not have to go out and actually work for and earn the basic things like shelter, food and cable? I would like to think I would want to know….but I already know Sister Someone won’t. You can talk to her and talk to her, and sometimes it sinks in. You know it has because she gets super quiet and then…she twists it around so it fits her fantasy. And I already know what will happen if I open my mouth and lay the cards on the table: she will run to Brother Everything, he will call me a jealous liar and she will come running back only to flip the table over and say: LOOK what happened to your cards! They are all topsy turvy. Oh, well. She won’t care what BE’s motivations are for marrying her….all she knows is she will be getting married and she will have her family, forever and ever. If I tell her what is really going on, I will be a bitter, lonely woman trying to kill her dream. DC, the Dream Killer. That’s me.
Him: I have no idea why I am even considering this. I mean, I know Artsy Craftsy, Chef , Quiet One and myself were going to create a sub-Panel and be like renegades to attempt some type of intervention but we have all had time to think this over. Him will not listen…unsure if it is the denial settling in further or the fact that I would be the messenger, but if I laid cards on the table with him, the man would not even see the table, let alone the cards. I would be unable to speak freely with him because then he would think one of three things: I am a psychic, I am a psycho stalker or that information has been leaked (him will not realize that it all came from him)…and some of what we know, we REALLY are not supposed to know, so I am jeopardizing livelihoods and professional relationships and reputations. Besides that, in his own way, him is as far gone as Sister Someone. The man is a Department Manager and has all kinds of rumors and speculations floating around about him….in the office. Subordinates, peers and supervisors…all know and hear and speculate. Call me crazy, but a member of management should be an example not only professionally but personally…who wants to work for someone whose every action is questioned? Who wants to work for/under someone who cannot manage his own household or his finances? So I would be fussing over that simply because I knew who him was BEFORE BTH and then I would come across as not only a hater bitch who needs to be reported to him’s wife (so she can attempt to fight this “battle” for him) or as a Nosy Parker trying to tell him how to live his life. Which is another point….him will never see I am simply trying to be a friend….the man has always over looked the fact I never told him to NOT marry BTH, I never begged him to come back to me. I poured my heart out to him in the beginning telling him how much I loved him and to please tell me what I did wrong. I was met with silence and cruelty but I never once tried to change him’s mind or mindset. Instead, I focused on trying to maintain a (one sided) friendship which was also taken the wrong way (anyone remember Hater Bitch?) and now that I have accepted the hardest thing…that him never wanted me at least in the long term….that this…whatever it is… is what him wanted, this where him chose to be and apparently STILL chooses to be despite the sky falling in huge chunks around him…I have to remember that. Sure, I would be making different choices (first one would have been not to get married to someone such as BTH) but him is not me. So do I risk starting up the war again which involves engaging in combat with BTH and being misunderstood all the way around? Do I put forth the efforts necessary and hope that enough shit has hit the fan him has finally removed his head from his ass? Or do I sit back, grab some popcorn and watch the show?
I have decided that in both cases, I am leaving things alone and minding my business (unless the crazy escalates to heights unheard of…then sheer nosiness will take over). Some lessons HAVE to be learned the hard way and people have to shatter their denial in their own way and time. My only request is that both Sister Someone and Him start minding their business….no one in the office needs to know what goes on in their households, and yes, SS is guilty of that also. Stop dragging others into their drama and mess. Buy clothes…him is looking like a popsicle stick in retro clothing and Sister Someone is becoming Mrs. Jack Sprat…and not from the bargain box of a thrift store. No need for public announcements that only add fuel to the fire, instead how about nipping the gossip in the bud? Oh, and I have an additional request of myself…STOP picking up the crap people throw out there. Not everyone is sending out an SOS…sometimes they just want to talk about them and no response or advice is necessary. And if they ARE sending one out, let them have the balls to come to you with it. Let the crazy run its course…just don’t let it get on you.
Well, I guess that’s it and that’s all regarding whether or not I will draft emails/make phone calls, but we are still researching and trying to verify the stories. I am telling you, if we can do that….it will make for one helluva blog post. As always, thanks for stopping past and reading and as usual….enjoy your day!