With all the craze surrounding the darker side of Snow White (Once Upon a Time, Snow White and The Huntsman), everyone should know the rhyme that accompanies the title of this post. Mirror, mirror on the wall…who’s the fairest of them all? Well, a couple of nights ago, the Evil Queen AND Snow White would have eaten their hearts out because I was hot, sexy and damnit, I KNEW it. And so did my date….it was wonderful, magical and lasted all of two hours…and I want to tell you all about my two hour fairytale.
I have told you all about how I was supposed to have a real date with a guy who I swear looks like Keifer Sutherland…did I mention how attractive and sexy and handsome I thought he was? Well, I told pretty much every female member of the Panel and they all agree; hell, Morning Person said he was the best looking man ever in my history of men. So I was all up in my head about the date…I mean, he looks like Keifer Sutherland and I look like…well, me… and remember not 3 days before we made the date I was calling myself the Divine Bovine. I was a wreck and all the negative self-everythings were everywhere. It was like a crowd of people talking all at once in my head and I simply could not shut them up.
But, I jump ahead of myself…I am sure someone reading this is wondering where/how did I meet this guy..and the answer is Craigslist. Not in the usual/typical Craigslist way but via the strictly platonic section where one has a 5% chance of meeting someone real who will not send the very tasteless cock shot picture in the first email. It was a gorgeous day and I was feeling random and adventurous…I enjoy my own company but that day, I wanted to meet someone new. I stated in my ad that I was looking to catch a movie (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel), I could and would pay my own way and was not looking for sex or a relationship in any shape, form or fashion. You HAVE to say that or else if you actually do meet with the person, they will be trying to grope you everywhere and in every which way. And I got not one response and ended up catching the flick with Busy Bee (and we had yummy club sandwiches)…we had the best time and when I returned home, I had 3 responses, one which was from Keifer who said he would be available Tuesday evening.
So this how I met him, and we emailed and talked on the phone Sunday-Tuesday. He is separated and visits his children every weekend (they are in another state), he is a foodie and travels a lot for his job. One thing he did (and this is important to remember)…he blocked his number when he called me stating that he wanted to make sure I was not some crazy, stalker psycho and once we met, that would not be an issue. He had to go to a state 5 hours away on Monday for work and would be meeting me pretty much right after he returned on Tuesday afternoon/evening, but then he emailed to say they were leaving later than they had planned and I suggested we re-schedule. He said NO WAY…he was not putting off meeting me another day. He wanted to meet and dazzle me to ensure no one stole me away from him, so I was thinking it would be a later date (original plan was a 7pm movie with maybe dinner afterwards) but thought that would be good as I could use all the time I could to prepare. I went to the nail salon and got my facial hair waxed and my hands and toes polished and painted; I exfoliated my face; cleaned the house (just in case…I KNOW I stated no hanky-panky but who expected someone like Keifer on Craigslist??) and had a wardrobe crisis….a drawback to retail therapy is one can end up with too many cutie-pie outfits and even with two closets full of clothes, I was thinking I had nothing to wear. I ended up with a colorful (purple, black, gold and red) tribal print maxi dress, colorful chandelier earrings and chunky brown sandals.
I was so incredibly nervous (sure sign I like(d) the guy) …I really wanted to make a good impression and all the superlative compliments he had been given me for at least two days straight seemed to be more of a detriment than anything…after all, fantasy/imagination is always better than the reality, but I got it together and when we met, I swear it was like something out of a movie. I was standing in front of the restaurant at 8pm trying to scan the crowds at the subway entrance across the street so I could see him…and when he stepped out onto the street, I saw him at the exact moment he looked across the street and saw me….and the smile that broke across his face I had not seen since the early days with Him. He told me I looked stunning (who has ever called me that?) and said I smelled enchanting. I told him the perfume was called How To Catch A Man Named Keifer….in reality it was Madonna’s Truth or Dare.
When we got inside, the restaurant was crowded and he grabbed my hand so he would not lose me in the crowd and we found a table in a secluded, not as noisy corner. He carried my food for me (European style bar/bistro place), fetched my drinks and we both had yummy pasta and shared a garlic grilled shrimp salad. He talked, made me laugh out loud, noticed my grooming efforts and adored my hair, even when it started slipping backwards off my head. He told me about his children and showed me pictures of the business road trip. I got complimented constantly (he said I was the most beautiful woman in the room) and I was in heaven. I mean, here was a guy who could easily check off the majority of the boxes on my checklist, he insisted on paying for dinner and he found me to be damn near perfect. After dinner, we walked around Chinatown holding hands and when it was time to part ways, he hugged me, told me I was delightful, kissed me on the cheek and put me in a cab. He called about a half hour after I got home (he lives a good hour away from the metro stop he had to travel to), told me he had a blast and wanted to go out again next week…but this is what raised a pink flag: his number was STILL BLOCKED. Artsy Craftsy, Oscar, Morning Person and Girlfriend all said to just not worry about that…I can address it on the second date. Except, he has not emailed or called since then. I said I was not going to initiate contact (if he wants me, he can chase me) but of course I did send an email. Light and breezy, wishing him a wonderful weekend and if he was still up for movies next week, so was I . Still nothing.
I feel disappointed and am trying to analyze what went wrong…I would say what happened but a great date like that does not end with total silence and blocked numbers. Obviously something went wrong, but maybe I am overreacting…after all, I had expectations which is something I swore I would never have again. Sex can be a one-time only thing, why not a date? Or maybe he is simply looking for an occasional hang out buddy, but that does not excuse his ignoring my email, which means he can uncheck at least one of the boxes on my checklist. Not going to lie, totally bummed over here but I still have the other two responses from the ad and have been chatting with those guys….one of them wants to go out tonight if I am available…..and I think I am available. Keifer was great and showed me more attention and paid me more compliments than I have had in a very long time. He showed me that what I seek is not unattainable but apparently more time and patience is needed. For a couple of hours on a random Tuesday evening, he made me feel like a Princess and as if I really were the fairest of them all, in all the land.
As always, thanks for stopping past and reading (hopefully it did not come across too convoluted). I will be back soon with more posts and as usual….enjoy your day!