I don’t know how to start this post or even what to say. Bits and pieces of sentences and of phrases are coming to me. I do know that last night I was working on a blog post about how great everything is for me and my Panel…I know that I got up this morning to complete Day 3 of a 3 day temp assignment. And I was so not wanting to go in…it was raining pretty steadily and I could definitely have slept in, but I decided to do the right thing.
I remember seeing the former co-worker as we both boarded the train and my first thought was: “Wow! First I see one former co-worker ( the first was on the train I missed) and now another!” My second thought was she had not changed a bit. We made the small talk people make when they have not seen each other in awhile, and that is when she told me that my Boobycake had passed away.
I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach….I did not talk a lot about Boobycake. No particular reason why I didn’t and perhaps I should have because she was hilarious at times but pretty much she just was. She was the first person I met/saw when I went to work for the Craziest Bitch in America….she asked who I was there to see and when I told her, she told me turn around and let her see my outfit. Surprising thing to hear from a stranger, but she reminded me of my aunts with her no-nonsense attitude and her once over inspection to make sure I wasn’t embarrassing myself (unintentionally, of course). She introduced me to others in the office and became my lunch partner.
Boobycake became my office mom….she was the one I vented to when Crazy Bitch was too much, she was the one who would give me rides home when the weather was sucky, she was the one who was there when I got let go from the summer jobs program after doing more than my share of the right thing. Boobycake was the one who first told me hard truths about him and the relationship we shared when the breakup/fiasco first went down. I was so angry I did not speak to her for like 10 whole minutes. She was the one who told me in both of those situations to just leave it be and watch what happens. She was the one who reminded me that vengeance was not mine, but Someone Else’s to dole out.
We talked on the phone even after I had moved on to another assignment, she kept trying to get me to attend church with her but I kept making excuses. She prayed for me. She told me all about her daughter and her grandbabies, I told her how hard it was to move on and she shared her heartbreak story with me. We watched Animal Planet together and she tried to get me into those Judge shows but I swear, I cannot do it. Not enough drama for me and she would tell me I have had enough drama for two lifetimes. We laughed, we talked….hell, we even went grocery shopping together and that is something I save for Busy Bee and/or Morning Person. We were friends and I love her.
Then she got sick and had to be hospitalized…she came home and we talked and made plans to get together…in fact, I last talked to her 10 days ago and she said she was okay but pretty soon, she would be all better. And today, I hear she died 2 days ago.
How weird is it that this morning she was not on my mind but now, I miss her so much. I want to call her right now and find out that the former co-worker had it wrong. But I know she didn’t and her phone just goes to voicemail. I thought Boobycake would be here….she was so happy I had finally found happiness and she wanted to meet the next man to give me her opinion and hopefully her approval. I was going to her house this summer (barring any new excuses I could come up with) and help her with a cookout. We were supposed to go to the thrift store out by the Wal-Mart once she got better. We were going to watch Big Brother together this summer. We had plans…probably lame as hell, but they were ours. And now she is gone and I am crying.
Life is so short….you HAVE to make time for those who matter and for whom you matter also. Make plans for sooner versus later. We really have to stop taking people and time and so many other things for granted because tomorrow is promised to no one.
And just like I did not know how to begin this post, I have no idea how to end it. Rest in peace, Boobycake…we met by chance (who knew we would both be early that morning?) and I never dreamed you would touch my life the way you did. I love you and I will miss you sososososo much.