My Panel is going crazy…not in the mentally deranged sort of way (although that is open for discussion) but in a totally senseless, impractical sort of way. Now, to be fair and honest, it isn’t everyone…just a select few. But the ones who are not going crazy are either having meltdowns or are being driven crazy by the ones who are going crazy. The ones I know who are somewhat normal (as in no reported meltdowns or breakdowns) are: New Mommy, Girlfriend, Tiger, Guardian Princess, Morning Person, Mini-Me, Busy Bee and UTA. Well, UTA was onboard the Crazy Train for a minute but I think it got too crowded for her. I want to put Artsy-Craftsy on that list but after she is caught up on everything, she may be trying to snatch UTA’s seat. Okay, so I am just going to list the offenders below and tell you all just how crazy they are being…and fair warning…aspirin may be needed.
Quiet One: We do not know what is going on with her….all we know is she is weirding out again. She is quieter than usual and any statement she makes is coming out like an accusation. She is not responding to emails and when she does answer her phone, she is beyond quiet and only asks what you want. I know she is upset over my leaving the assignment, but this behavior goes beyond mere concern over how I am going to pay my bills. Unfortunately, when Quiet One gets like this, no one knows what is going on until after the crisis has passed.
Sister Someone/Brother Everything: Did you really think these two were over and done with? I simply have not blogged about them because for the longest time, they were both keeping their ends of the bargain and leaving each other alone…but it is starting back up slowly but surely….they are back to sleeping together, which to me is beyond crazy given what they have put each other through. According to Sister Someone, even though they are still sleeping together, she is definitely moving on past Brother Everything…watch and see. I totally plan to watch and see how this plays out…I think I will hide all the sharp objects while I do so.
Oscar: Well, she did not kill me after writing her the letter, but she has been MIA since. A couple of emails and then she was poof, begone! I do know she is out of medication, which is not good but she is also hurting and with too much free time on her hands. THIS combination is really not good for Oscar (emotional pain, idle time and no meds)…when she does not wish to face unpleasantness or does not want to do something…she won’t. And will fall off the face of the earth (doing destructive shit) until she is ready for you to face the consequences for her. It sounds harsh, but that is just what she does…she will go out there and go completely fucking insane and then come back asking us to help her repair the damage and tell her how this is just not the way to solve her problems. Well, we will be here waiting for her and I am thinking I need more aspirin (Cuz’s issues have depleted my current supply), more cigarettes and maybe some bail money.
Policeman: At this one I am shocked…I know I once blogged he has more drama than any of us, but he was going to settle down, be a faithful husband and all would be well. Whatever. I am beginning to think I met this idiot on Craigslist. Say what you want about the Sister Someone/Brother Everything fiasco…he has been nothing but honest with her and she has consented to the treatment. Policeman wants to send out mixed signals and have his cake and not only eat it, he wants to save pieces for later. He has a new girlfriend…a lesbian girlfriend, and at this I hate to point out the obvious to my friend (yes, he is still my friend. Just because he does something I do not like is no reason to throw out the baby with the bathwater) …if she is being sexual with you, she is not a full-fledged lesbian. Bisexual at best as he says the woman has a wife…not lover, not girlfriend…wife. Maybe that is what they have in common. In any case, the woman treats him to nice meals ,both in restaurants and at home…hell, she just dropped almost $100 at a Japanese Steak House. He goes to her house, lays naked in her bed while she is cooking up breakfast for him…they go to strip clubs together and one would think all is well. Except when he does not want to be bothered, he ignores her phone calls and text messages. Policeman actually told this chick that when he is home, he cannot be bothered with her at all and she is getting too clingy and needy! And THIS is where I am lighting into his ass: as much as I despise a cheating man, I despise a CHEAP, INCONSIDERATE cheating man more. Seriously, this woman is taking more risks with her relationship than Policeman will ever take, spending her money, time and resources and the man cannot take TWO minutes to say he is in the house and cannot talk? Yet, when she ignores his communications he is bitching and moaning. Get real, dude….you cannot have it both ways and here’s an idea: STOP SEEING OTHER WOMEN! Period. Seriously, attitudes like what Policeman is carrying around is what ensures that anything that goes down between me and men these days will involve a price tag. Call it and me what you want. So Policeman is not crazy per se, but he is showing himself to be a selfish, petty bitch and that drives me crazy.
Buddy: I love my buddy….except he is crazier than a blind bat on crack. When he and Boo are not having knockdown, drag out fights (he pushed through (not into) a wall trying to get a butcher knife out of her hands and she has stolen his car), he was looking for a job. He lost the last one when they found him asleep and with alcohol on his breath but he rose like a phoenix to land another one. This new job is more along the lines of his professional field and to start, he will be part-time for the first 90 days. If he passes the probationary period, he will be full-time, better pay and benefits…except he has already missed 10 days of work in the first 3 weeks and actually left the job at 9am one morning because “there was nothing to do”. I am not quite sure WHY he missed 10 days of work (he says transportation issues but one of his co-workers is a neighbor), why he left work soon after getting there or even why he feels he needs to stay with Boo but he assures me he knows what he is doing and can handle the consequences of his actions. I certainly hope so.
Chef: I have simply concluded that the Panel has its own version of March Madness and Chef brings it every year. March is a rough month for him….it is his birthday, the dead fiancée’s birthday and it is also the month when the operation that took her life took place. So of course, there are some hard moments for him….except he is choosing to color his reality regarding the relationship and the ones of us who KNOW what the relationship was between those two are looking at him as if he is certifiably insane. His fiancée was a bigger girl…not as in she is bloated because of her period and cannot fit into her size 6 skinny jeans. Chick was BIG…short, sloppy and big. She did not work and could not be bothered to get up off her ass to pay the bills after Chef wrote out the checks. They lived together forever, yet every time the 7 year mark loomed, Chef moved out because he did not even want common-law marriage with her….I have never said this to anyone, but I honestly believe Chef proposed to the woman on her deathbed in an attempt to redeem himself. However, to hear Chef tell it….she was slim and svelte, she worked and supported them financially…she was perfect and the likes of her shall never roam the earth again. Artsy Craftsy told us last year to just let him talk….whatever lets him sleep at night and we are making this the rule where Chef is concerned. Oscar thinks it is the guilt of how he treated her when she was alive that causes him to love her more in death….I don’t know what the reasoning is but I will say he has taken it upon himself to financially support her grown children since her death. All I know is I will be glad when March is over because my mouth is filling with blood from biting my tongue so hard.
Cuz: I have no idea what to say here…Cuz has left me with only two words when it comes to his particular brand of craziness and those two words are Seriously? and Really? Why don’t I just start with the incident that caused me to put remove him from the Panel…you all know he would not even pick up the phone when my demon was running amok and I had no idea why he just could not listen to me. Well, we have since determined that Cuz just cannot handle the deeper issues…the serious shit that is the root cause of all the superficial shit. BUT, his excuse was (and this one is a doozy) that he had killed a man…it came down to him or the other guy and he did what he had to do and as we emailed, he was headed SOUTH (from the DMV area) to New Jersey to hide out and lay low…and he seriously thought I would not be calling him out on that particular brand of bullshit. Now before you readers rush off to call Crimesolvers to collect a reward…trust and believe, if Cuz had done anything remotely like that, then that would make me the Queen of England. NONE of the Panel members who heard the story believed it and Morning Person banned us from talking to Cuz for 3 days. So I took the story for what it was…his excuse for not being there for me when I needed serious help, and like I blogged before…that’s okay. But then, while I am trying to sort and process my crap….Cuz is wanting me to analyze his dreams for him, wants me to stop missing Him (from the man who is STILL going to wreak havoc and vengeance upon One Great Love and her mama) and wants me to join in when he got pissed at his mama for not doing something for him. Really, Cuz?? I am trying to deal with some serious stuff over here (that you obviously cannot handle…telling me to not beat up on myself is not quite helping when I am already bloody, black and blue) and you being pissed at not getting a cheese steak or a ride to some chick’s house is an unwanted and unnecessary distraction. Dreams about being in your underwear while people repo a tractor trailer is not high on my list of gotta get that checked out….honestly, I think Cuz is facing some serious, deeply rooted crap of his own and is looking for anyway out of dealing with it, and I have some advice for my friend….the demon is never as big or as bad as you think it is. Your evil has been done before and will be done again….shed yourself of the toxic bliss and the denial. Break loose of the chains of the past and change your path. Your way has landed you here…see where another way of doing things takes you. Do not fear the truth…it may hurt, but it WILL set you free.
Okay, so now we are all caught up on the craziness (Thank Goodness) and I am working on a Sister Someone update (she’s baaaack) and a post on what my introspection has revealed about a mistake I make that is common in all of my relationships. As always, thanks for stopping past and reading and as usual….enjoy your day!