(Just to See) What If?


Emotions , sensations…they blend and blur to become colors.

Colors which crash and collide…the colors cross lines and spill over into my dreams.

Dreams which are more than dreams….dreams that become some alternate reality.

Dreams that allow me to see what if…..

What if I had told the truth that one time?

What if I had lied that other time?

What if  I had said yes that one time?

What if I said no the other 10 million times?

What if I were able to get it right the first time?

What if I had never met Him?

What if we were still together?

What if there were a husband and children instead of heartbreak and an empty apartment?

What if I were whole instead of broken?

What if people had not died?

What if there had been no addiction, no rapes, no beatings?

What if there was no recovery?

What if the next guy sweeps me off my feet?

What if there is no next guy?

What if Him does return?

What if there is no return?

What if there weren’t any regrets?

Wake me up…

The dreams make way for my reality and take their alternatives with them.

But they leave a message that whispers in my ears and echoes in my mind…

If you think this is over, you are wrong.

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