I don’t do resolutions….I do not see the point. Why sit up here and make all these lists of things I say I am going to do and/or give up when I know I won’t until I am ready to do so? The biggest lies are the ones we tell ourselves and to me and most of the Panel…that is what resolutions are: lies and a waste of time. We know what our shortcomings are and what we can improve upon and when we are ready…be it January 1st or September 23rd, we will do what we feel we need to do.
However, in keeping with the breakthroughs and breakdowns of negativity that will comprise the Year of Us, I do need to set down my goals for this year. Some will be realized, some will be put on a path to be set in motion and some may be just wishful thinking, but these are the things I want to accomplish this year:
Get a Job: THIS is a necessity…after all, one needs money to realize goals and dreams and to pay the bills, put food on the table and indulge in retail therapy. Besides needing to break this trend of incredible laziness and procrastination being unemployed has gotten me used to, I need the money a job provides to realize pretty much all the other goals this year…mutually beneficial arrangements are not a career path. And I have two viable prospects on the table now, so keeping everythings crossed that one of them pans out sooner versus later.
See a Dentist: The teeth are still here and still in need of professional help. Just because the pain disappeared does not mean the problem has (man, that is deep on so many levels!) and I can no longer procrastinate or sleep in or whatever other excuse I choose to trot out for not seeing the dentist. The front tooth is hanging on by two thin threads and has dropped a good inch since the last time I talked about it and while the back tooth no longer hurts, the gums surrounding it are swollen still. I have no idea why I am still blogging when I need to be at the dentist office RIGHT NOW.
Use My Groupons: Oh, yeah…I’m a fan of both Groupon and Living Social and I have the coupons to prove it. Now, to use them…I have coupons for a jazz club, a photo session and at least two for yummy pastries. These would go a long way towards fulfilling another goal this year.
Be More Social: I say this all the time and every freaking year, but last year I actually made good on it somewhat and plan to expound on it more in 2012. I am not going to let the fact that I am single or doing things solo hinder me. Movies, live music venues, dinners, museums, parties, happy hours…all on my to-do list this year, hopefully with the help of Groupons. My motto this year: you may arrive alone, but you don’t have leave alone.
Travel More: This is going to be a long standing goal…and I don’t need to start out with a tour of Europe or a cruise (although another one of those is definitely on the agenda). I need to visit my parents more…they are getting older and I need to appreciate and enjoy them while they are here, not be filled with regrets when they are gone, dysfunction and upset routines be damned. I want to visit Baltimore’s aquarium, Philly, Pittsburgh, Richmond…my dream is to visit all 50 states, London, Paris and maybe India. And can’t forget the Adult Vacation UTA and I are planning to Indonesia. Honestly, I have a passport and a driver’s license; no kids, no spouse and no pets…once I obtain a job, there will not be anyplace I cannot go and no excuses as to why I can’t.
Pamper Myself More: You know, these zebra toes are kinda cute and sexy…and the whole pedicure process was very relaxing and worth more than the $23 + tip I paid…so this year, I will indulge in day spas where I can get body massages, pedicures, manicures and facials . Time to start taking better care of me inside and out.
Be Healthier: Speaking of taking better care of myself….time for more fruits and veggies in the diet and actually utilizing portion control when eating. I make no excuses for being a bigger girl, but I need to work on maintaining what I have and possibly even losing some…gaining is NOT an option this year. Besides, I like having our vitals in the normal range…got to do something to make sure they stay that way. I may consider cutting back on smoking and walking an extra block a day, but those two are up in the air.
Spend More Time with Friends: Yes, I email with them and talk on the phone with my Panel and Girlfriend and I have date night….but I want to spend more face time with my friends. I plan to return to the Island for my lunches with Quiet One, Artsy Craftsy and Chef….and I think this will be a huge step for me. I kept postponing in 2011 citing busyness, conflicting schedules, etc. but the real reason was I was afraid of facing him and what would/could result from that. Would my heart break into a million pieces again? Would my breath catch and I start crying? What if BTH is up there and all hell breaks loose? But no longer… I allowed him to snatch enough crap from me that I am working hard to replace …him will not take my friends and the fun times our lunches provide me to be yet another victim of this fiasco. Also thinking of getting international calling so I can talk to my brother overseas and maybe even give UTA a call sometimes.
Make More Progress with the Process: Not sure why this is even on the list as it is a given. All I know is that getting through 2011 was hard, hard work and filled with intensity, stress and challenges but I am healing more each day, I am emotionally healthier and I am better. Notice I said I am healing (NOT healed) and better (NOT great)…and I want to make more forward progress. I want him to be even further in the background…yes, I am done with the situation, but I still listen to the gossip, him still comes up in conversations and I want that to definitely slow down this year. I want it to be “out of sight, out of mind” and while him is fading, the man is still lurking around a corner somewhere in my mind. I am slowing my roll on the people pleasing and not paying attention when people tell me I want to do “younger people things”…we are in a an age where age really is just a number. I have lived a lifetime of unhealthiness….time for healthy new life experiences.
Get a Boyfriend: Okay, so this is one I may be laying foundation now for and see results in a future year. I am not well by any stretch of the imagination….you cannot expect a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to arise from a mutually beneficial arrangement and Lord knows, my self-everythings are not at levels where I would be comfortable freely giving myself to a man without it being the Next Big Thing, but who knows? There are some cute guys out there in the real world and maybe with the pampering sessions and being healthier, the positive changes I make will make crucial inner changes and reflect outwardly. I do know I want a taller guy if possible, but who you click with isn’t as simple as placing an order at a restaurant. All I can do is keep my mind, eyes and options open.
So this is my To-Do List of 2012…some things did not make the list, most notably no more Facebook Stalking, but what else is Facebook good for, other than posting statuses that do not have a character limit? The Smartphone did not make the list because that is a necessity at this point, so it will be realized sometime this year. Please note that we will be referring back to this throughout the year to see if I have managed to check anything off the list and the progress I am making with it. If you have your own to-do list, please feel free to share it with me/us…we would love to know what is on your agenda for this year.
Thanks for stopping by and enjoy your day!