It is a New Year and a brand new everything today. It is 2012, and this year there are 366 days….days of who knows what they hold, but one thing they all have in common as long as you are living: they each hold new opportunity and I intend to take advantage of as many as possible. This is the year I jump on the Bandwagon of Us….after all, Us is pretty cool and it is time Us started giving ourselves the respect, the love and the happiness we bestow upon Them. We will take our lessons learned, gain back control over our life and this is the year we realize dreams, accomplish goals and fulfill fantasies. People talk of changing the world, changing their situations, changing other people….this is the year we strive to change who we are and the rest will fall into place.
This year, there are no resolutions…simply goals we are setting. We have 366 days to cross at least one of them off our list. How hard can it be to accomplish one goal, realize one dream or fulfill one fantasy? We will stop shortchanging ourselves of our happiness. I know I was the first one to holler that him stole my happiness but he didn’t…I gave it to him and one thing I have found it is that two things that are in endless supply are love and happiness. I once blogged that people can get the shit slapped of them…even the life slapped out of them, but never the love. Same with happiness…you can misplace it, forget you even have it…but it is always there. In the deepest sorrow, happiness can be found and in the ugliest of faces, there is beauty. So yes, we shortchange ourselves by choosing to be miserable; dwelling on the past and the negatives; by seeking the ugly when we should be seeking the beauty…and this year, misery has got to pack its bags and find someone else to keep it company.
We are taking back control by kicking those folks who have been living rent free in our heads and hearts for HOW long the hell out. If we are no longer together, it is obvious that they no longer want us, and if we are to be truthful, we no longer want them. We want the thought of what could have been. This is the year we issue eviction notices…it can be a 30 day notice, a 90 day notice or even a 6 month notice…just know that before 2013 rolls around, they would have had to find someplace new to live. I suggest starting as early as possible as they will never take all their baggage and belongings with them at once…they leave crap behind and have to come back to retrieve it…and then they want to hang around. Memories are the past…it is okay to visit, but no more living there. This is a New Year which means new experiences with new people….you have to get rid of the old to make room for the new. And frankly, I have no more room for the old…who I used to be, the people I once loved and cared about (and the one I still carry feelings for) …they no longer fit into the new landscape that is being painted for me.
This is the year we start getting comfortable with ourselves…when you are comfortable with yourself, you are confident. When you are confident, you are sexy. So what if you do not fit society’s ideal? No one does except those airbrushed and abnormal folks on the covers of magazines. This year, I am done trying to fit in…I am not going to be afraid to stand out…no one is worried about how I look except me. I am done comparing myself to anyone…I will always fall short and if I don’t fall short, then I am wondering what is wrong that I wasn’t chosen/picked or why I was outright rejected. Speculation is SO out this year.
In 2012, I shed myself of the toxic bliss…for too long I have accepted the unacceptable and settled for far less than what I deserve…and thinking that less than is what contributes to my happiness. It doesn’t and it is time to shed the cloaks of denial and delusion. This is the year I take recycling off the Shelf of Options and start believing the actions shown me versus the words or what I feel in my heart….logic over love this year. THIS is the year we work on Ourselves instead of Them and the now defunct relationships. We will fill the voids with self confidence, self respect and self esteem. We will own our choices and deal with the consequences and fallout, no more placing or shouldering the blame when we shouldn’t. This is the year we grow up and man up. Remember: just because things have always been a certain way does not mean they have to remain that way.
It sounds like a lot and it is…and it is going to be hard, stressful work. Habits are hard to break and these will not be any different. Do you think that even after all that has happened that I don’t want him back sometimes? That I don’t want to see him’s face, hear him’s voice or feel that man’s body on mine, him’s kisses sending me over the moon? I DO….but only because him is familiar to me in all ways. Let me repeat that: him is familiar to me in ALL ways…including the hurt and pain him inflicts…and I am used to that so while it does hurt me when him does the things he does….it is not a fresh hurt, if that makes any sense to anyone other myself. The first cut is always the deepest and after it has healed…I allowed him to come cut me again; it didn’t hurt that badly the second, third, fourth times around because I knew what to expect…and that crap is over and done. This is the year that the pain of change will surpass the pain of staying the same. New year, new people, new experiences. Remember, grownups don’t have all the answers…they are just willing to blaze the different trail in pursuit of different results.
So who is with me in jumping on the Bandwagon of Us? We do not have to start today or tomorrow but this is the year we start aligning things in our life to embark on the paths of emotional balance and healthiness and self improvement so we can love, accept and respect ourselves more. This is the year we can break through the fear, break down the excuses and cut the ties that bind. This is the year we can start becoming the people we want to be, doing the things we want to do…life is not always about what we have to do or need to do…you have to realize some wants once in a while. We can do that this year. This is the Year of Us, and we are worth the efforts, the hard work and the ultimately wonderful results change brings about.