THIS is a Sister Someone post, so you know what that means. Grab your snacks, your aspirin and prepare for another novella. I am just going to jump right in and pick up where we left off in the post Insignificant Other… because really, does this chick even need an introduction anymore?
So I left off with Sister Someone embarking on a dating game…it did not last long and lasted only one date. To her credit, she had two lined up…from the (to quote UTA) “skid row of online dating sites”, Craigslist. The first guy sounded really great on paper…he was tall, independent/employed, had two cars, a motorcycle, owned a condo, was a single father and a Redskins fan. He was looking to start slow and was looking for a good woman who wanted a good man. Sister Someone read the ad three times, had me read it twice and then she responded. Dude responded back and things started slowly (he was not quick in responding to emails) and after a few cool exchanges, dropped the bomb: he was a registered sex offender (statutory rape but not his fault…he was 24, the girl was 14 but lied and told him she was 19)…MAJOR red flag, but it was almost 15 years ago and the man had a child of his own. Sister Someone decided that happy hour meeting would not be too big a step, so they made arrangements. Except Dude emails the day before to say there had been a fire in his condo complex and his apartment was ruined with water damage and would be staying at a hotel for a week before moving in with family members. He still wanted to meet…just the following week. Sister Someone had me online searching for news of a fire anywhere in the DMV area, but nothing so we had no choice but to take Dude at face value…except she never heard from Dude again. He never initiated contact and her attempts to reach him were ignored. We have seen subsequent ads that he has placed and apparently, he has no idea what his name is: he told SS his name was Derek and in two other ads, he was Javon and most recently, Carlos.
Well, that did not stop our heroine in her mission to date and move on from Brother Everything….she found another candidate and not sure what his ad said as she did not show it to me. All I know is it moved from email to telephone pretty quickly and the two of them were on the phone for hours every night. Sister Someone said he was so wonderful and understood her and they had so much in common….they planned a date for later in the week and the day of the date, that chick calls me up asking me to give her conversation topics. I stuck with sports as he was a guy and all, and I had to keep reminding her to NOT say that Pittsburgh played the Steelers. Well, the date was wonderful…dinner at a Japanese steak house, bowling, a long drive to nowhere….after both had returned to their respective homes, there was a late night phone call and plans being made for the following weekend. And just like with the first dude…no more communication. THIS worried Sister Someone and she made repeated attempts to contact the guy, but to no avail. Turns out the best thing that ever happened was his falling off the face of the earth: this guy had prior arrest records for burglary, robbery and stalking; his business (he is self-employed) was in bankruptcy and his home had a $7,000 tax lien on it. Once these facts were unearthed, her weeping and wailing stopped real quick.
It is important to note that while this dating game was taking place, Brother Everything was STILL in the picture….he had not gone anywhere and the woman was still preparing his breakfasts and treating him to lunches…hell, she called me at 4am one morning while she was preparing salmon cakes and fried potatoes for his breakfast. What we didn’t know was that Brother Everything was formulating a plan…a plan to further his own agenda and make Sister Someone’s dream come true. It hit everyone out of the blue and New Mommy, Cuz and Oscar are still reeling….Brother Everything MOVED IN with Sister Someone! Apparently, he asked her on a Thursday was she still wanting to give them a chance….of course, Sister Someone tripped ass over elbow to tell him YESYESYES….and he told her she needed to clean out some drawers, make room in the closet and get that house of hers cleaned up as he was moving in with her that Saturday and to not go off all half-cocked…they would be moving slowly and taking things one day at a time. She was yes babaying all over the place but balked at the one day at a time…according to SS that is planning to fail.
And here is where I am going to break this post down into a he said/she said….I am getting phone calls, text messages and emails from both of these fools and I am not sure whose story to believe but since Brother Everything has photos to substantiate his claim and Sister Everything has proven that she hears only what she wants to hear and has a pretty demented, dogmatic view of the world and since we never hear the truth until after the fact…I am going with Brother Everything’s version of events.
Sister Everything says: First, this chick says she is not sure if she wants Brother Everything living with her anymore. Yeah, at the beginning of the whole relationship, it was her dream, but now? Too much water under the bridge and too many of the wrong things have happened. The man is not monogamous and he takes her for granted. Her efforts have gone unnoticed. She waffles between feeling/being overwhelmed (it does not take much to overwhelm Sister Someone…at work, if she has more than three tasks at a time, she is looking for someone to pawn the work off on) by the demands of her man and her son to saying this is wonderful and fun. She says that she is not a good cook and since BE is always boasting about what great cooks his mother, sister, ex-wife and ex-girlfriend are, she feels as if she is being compared to them. After a day of work and her son, she is not up to the task of keeping the house clean on a constant basis…sometimes she just wants to enjoy her mess and veg out. Yet, Brother Everything is not willing to assist with housework or interact with her son, other than to discipline the child. The biggest issue to date for her is meal planning….two days after he moved in (she still insists that he sprung it all on her),she set out ingredients for spaghetti, which was going to be that night’s meal. Brother Everything asked what was he supposed to eat as she knew he was allergic to tomatoes and tomato products…when asked what he wanted for dinner, he said chicken. So after a day of cleaning the house and taking cars (there are 3 in her household) to the car wash, she packs up her son and trudges to the grocery store and stands in a super long line with her chicken. Once she returns home, Brother Everything has used her credit card (says he lost his bank card) to order a pizza. Sister Someone was miffed because no need to go out if he was going to order pizza, but I am surprised she STILL does not see the obvious: he did not want the pasta because it contained tomato sauce…the exact same ingredient on a pizza! Her son is not taking the new addition to the household very well…he is needy and clingy at home, saying she no longer loves him and at school? He has been sent home at least 4 times, and told he is a danger to himself and others with his temper tantrums and acting out. All she wants is some time alone but the one day she took off for herself, she called me every hour saying how much she missed her family. Yet, when they got home, she complained that Brother Everything went out and was calling her every half hour to check in, her son was all over her demanding her attention and that BE is now saying if this worked out for another 6 months, they could “make it official”.
Brother Everything says: Once again, Sister Someone is a denial filled, delusional liar unwilling to accept responsibility for her actions. The woman did not get anything sprung on her…he was telling her that he was planning to move out months ago and she was all over him every chance she got to get him to move in. He told her from the jump that she was going to have to clean that house of hers up as she is a terrible housekeeper: only two rooms in her house are presentable and the rest is the result of years of neglect. I am going to veer a bit here as the man has said before how nasty the house was before but I thought it was an exaggeration, but he has sent pictures…he is telling the truth. There are clothes everywhere and I am talking PILES of them and according to BE, they are all dirty, the tubs all have permanent rings as she never cleans them and according to both BE and SS, her toilet seat is molded. Morning Person and I are speechless and I refuse to ask how in the hell that happened. Underneath her beds, are toys, junk and trash, the sink is filled with at least two weeks worth of dishes at all times and according to Brother Everything, her carpets are sticky and when he walks barefoot on them, fibers stick to the bottom of his feet. He made her get them all cleaned. He has no problem cleaning up behind himself or helping her with domestic chores, but he told her he was not cleaning what he did not help mess up. However, he has changed his mind and offered to assist with housecleaning but Sister Someone insists he sit still and let her do all the work. When it comes to her child, Brother Everything told Sister Someone he wanted nothing to do with the child in a parenting role until they figured out where they were and where they were going as a couple…work on them as a couple first, then work on them as a family but Sister Someone insists on making BE the disciplinarian and the bad guy. So now that BE is trying to instill some sort of structure into the household with regular meal times, regular chores and some basic rules…SS breaks them all which sets a bad example (one is no food except in the kitchen and SS has snacks all over the bedroom which she eats at nighttime) and makes promises to her son that BE is forced to break since he is now the enforcer. One example of that is SS believes in spoiling and rewarding her son, regardless of his behaviors and had promised to take her son bowling….however, two days before he had been sent home from school but told the child he could still go bowling. Brother Everything said no, the child was still on punishment and Sister Someone basically pit them against each other by saying she didn’t break the promise…Brother Everything did. Brother Everything says that the woman is clingier than ever….they live together, they sleep together, they commute into work together (and he says she makes him do all the driving, citing he deserves to cater to her in at least one way since she does everything for him and the household), they have lunch together and it still isn’t enough for her. NOW the woman is looking at engagement and wedding rings as she says she wants more than mere cohabitation. He says the three times he has gone out without her, she is calling him wanting to know what he is doing and is he coming home soon and he is using the opportunity to reinforce rules and maintain structure. Oh, did we mention that Sister Someone has now gotten her son to call Brother Everything “daddy”?
And this is where I am going to end yet another installment of this drama…who knows where this will go? I think it is interesting to note that since these two started living together, they no longer have sex and Sister Someone has started eating more and more junk food and she claims to feel dread in her tummy every morning. We are just going to stay tuned to this soap opera and see what updates the next installment brings us.
Thanks for reading and enjoy your day!