I am going to apologize in advance for this blog post…it is going to be long and convoluted as I am mixing updates with rants and vents…I want to update you guys but I need to get the thoughts and feelings up off of me at the same time…hopefully it comes across as somewhat coherent and not just a messy pile of bitchiness. So I am asking you to please bear with me and try to follow along.
Sister Someone…what can I say about this chick I have not said before? What can I do with her short of smacking her silly in hopes it jars her brain cells loose? You guys know Sister Someone is the alternate personality of an existing Panel member (trust me, they are night and day) and I swear, SS is going to get them both kicked off the Panel. She is lucky Morning Person is reminding us that Panel members are for life and we stick with each other through thick, thin and incredible bouts of stupidity…and if SHE weren’t enough, she has to drag that dammed Brother Everything with her everywhere!
I am not sure where to begin this update…there are two incidents that stand out more than anything and while I will do my best to tell you guys everything, you really had to see it to believe it. That’s how mind boggling they are. Okay, so the first incident happened soon after the layoff…it was a Sunday and I needed to take my last few dollars and get some stocks and provisions to keep my household running for a little while at least. My plan was to go up to my neighborhood CVS, but Sister Someone suggested we go to Wal-Mart together…she would pick me up but we had to go to Kohl’s first….she had coupons and needed to pick up some things there. It sounded good to me (I Heart Wal-Mart) and we made plans to meet at my place at 12:30pm on Sunday; she actually did not show up until 2pm and said she had to make a stop before hitting the Kohl’s. Not a problem and we made small talk as we drove down the beltway; part of the small talk was me telling her about a recent dream I had had about him…another vivid dream that somehow started out with me meeting SS/BE at a Starbucks and ended with him and I having a heart to heart in the Island’s parking garage of all places. In the dream I was barefoot and him was saying all I wanted/needed him to say (about 6 months ago I needed/wanted to hear it) and I was standing firm with my resolve and extremely high levels of self-everything. Then I asked Sister Someone her opinion on the entire dream.
THIS chick damn near ran us off the road, screaming that the dream meant I was going to be pregnant by Brother Everything (something about being barefoot when I saw him/them in the Starbucks…and remember, this was all in the dream) and if I EVER slept with BE, she would hurt me. I would have to go far, far away (like where UTA lives, far away) and NEVER return…I told her to get a grip on herself. NO ONE was sleeping with Brother Everything, no one WANTED to sleep with that man and frankly, I have no idea WHY either of them were in my dream and given that HIM was in my dream, begging for a reconciliation…connect the dots and tell me what I wanted her opinion on, please? It took her a few minutes but she did get herself together, calmed down and when she tried to offer some sort of an apology, I told her to simply forget it…it was obvious this chick was smoking something that had her hearing colors and seeing sounds and this was best left as a conversation that never happened…just don’t get me killed as I had to watch Desperate Housewives that night. So we are driving along and she stops at a McDonalds; she whips out her cell phone and calls Brother Everything and asks him what he wants to eat. So her stop on our way to a day of shopping was to feed Brother Everything who lives even further away than I do; I am pretty much staring at her, completely flabbergasted. She drove 30 miles to my house and we are going at least another 10 miles to get to his house to take him some… McDonalds. Unbelievable! So she gets his food, we drive to his place (or rather his mama’s place), drop off the food and leave. Seriously, he came outside, spoke to us both, grabbed his food and went back in the house. No thank you, no small talk, no nothing…and then we were on our way.
Shopping was shopping, I suppose. I noticed Sister Someone was all over clearance racks looking for things for herself and her son, but when we passed through the men’s department, she saw not one but TWO shirts, NOT on clearance and she said Brother Everything would look so good in both of them and she WANTED him to have them…and she bought them on the spot. Of course, this involved another tip back to his house and along the way this time (we still had not hit the Wal-Mart) she stopped off to get herself a burrito from Chipolte. When we arrived back at Brother Everything’s, she called him to come out as she had a surprise for him…he came out, grabbed the bag, held up the shirts and this time DID say thank you…then asked to taste her burrito, and after taking two huge bites, declared SS did not need it, and took his shirts and her dinner back inside. And THEN we went to Wal-Mart.
Which brings me to the incident that led to the second incident…somewhere along the line Brother stated to Sister he was moving out…he needed his own space and it was time…except when he told her he had found a place, he said he would be moving in with ANOTHER woman. The man claims it is an old family friend, but no one believes that. My question to him is…where do you find these chicks? So, no one knows who this chick is or where he found her but I suspect all those weekends Brother Everything was ignoring Sister Someone’s phone calls and text messages, all the last minute cancellations and no-shows were when he found the time to cultivate this new relationship. Well, needless to say, SS was/still is devastated…how could he do this to her? She loved him and was offering him the world on a platter…except she let her love for him blind her to the fact that this dude simply did not love her…hell, we are unsure if he even likes her. Unlike Girlfriend and myself who were bombarded with mixed signals and men who (at least initially) pursued us, SS/BE has been a one person show from the beginning. She is the one who pursued him, she is the one offering up obscene amounts of money, opening her home to this man, cooking for him, buying him clothes…basically being a wife without a ring or a vow. Brother Everything uses her and takes advantage of her and has told her to her face that he is doing so. He tells her repeatedly that they will never be anything other than occasional fuck buddies and after her last stunt with the chomping at the bit incident, they can’t even be that. Okay, so now Sister Someone is all hurt and heartbroken and she is DONE. She is going to embark on her own Dating Game…she says she sees now that Brother Everything is offering nothing but misery and she wants, needs and deserves better.
Chef, Cuz, Oscar and I listened to her…none of us believed her though…but she proved us wrong. She got a date and I am beginning to think it really is her. Her date is a guy I am going to call The Floater….he has been in and out of Sister Someone’s life for over 15 years now, and they have never pursued anything romantic or sexual. He says he wants to with her, but all he does is use her financially and for her material offerings and then he floats away, only returning when he is need again…and that can be anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 years. And every time, she takes him back and gives him what he wants only to watch him float away again. Not sure how the date came about…all I know is at some point in the past 2 months, Sister Someone gave Floater almost $400 towards getting his car repaired; while the car was in the shop, he borrowed one of her cars and ran the gas out of it and of course, has not even attempted a repayment of the money. Perhaps the date was payment for the money, which Sister is insistent was a loan. This chick REALLY irks my nerves with that…for her female friends, who are there for her when these asswipes use her up and toss her aside like Kleenex, she has NOTHING…no lunch money, no rides anywhere…seriously, if Brother Everything had not wanted something to eat, the shopping trip would have never happened. I know I am completely off topic here, but sometimes I want to shake her and tell to wake the hell up! I want her to open her eyes and find her self-esteem and self-respect and stop catering to men, especially gold digging (not just for women), selfish and self centered men who cannot even be bothered to give her the little bit of time and attention she requests. These men treat her worse than they do the dog crap on the bottom of their shoe and for them…this chick has everything in the world and what she does not have, she will beg, borrow and steal to get it.
Okay, rant over…again, not sure how the date came about, but Floater told her that if she expected him to pay, to expect McDonalds as he was broke. Oh, and they would be using her car with him driving. And she went for it as evidenced by her requesting I baby-sit for her on a Saturday night. I refused….I was not busy or had plans, but for real, SS is no one’s friend and she is only here with us because of her alter ego and the fact that the Panel is like Survivor in reverse…you can get voted onto the island, but no one is voted off. If you want to be a dating single mom, that’s fine, but realize that it comes with a price tag and no one is providing free daycare on a constant basis…I don’t give a damn if all I do is just smoke a cigarette butt naked in my house…I am giving up time out of my day and life so you can go and live yours sans child. Stay single and childless if you want to lead a single person’s life….and that sounds really horrible but I have no idea how to say it without it sounding horrible. Of course I did not couch my thoughts in those words exactly and damned sure did not say them that way, but perhaps I should have as this chick showed up at my doorstep Saturday evening with her son, Floater (and really, WHY did you bring a man to my place when you know how I am prone to be in my house, alone? Naked, possibly with porn and/or a playmate….who knows when it comes to me and idle time) and some McDonalds…she pretty much handed me the food, sat the child on the floor and was back out the door before I could blink twice…the kid and I just looked at each other for a few minutes, ate in silence and finally wrapped our brains around what had just happened.
But the kid and I got over it and ended up having a (dare I say ) great time. I recruited my neighbor’s son for a play date and toys, put on kid friendly programming (Muppets Take Manhattan, Tangled and Toy Story 3), the neighbor made popcorn and she and I had a really good conversation while the boys played fairly and pretty quietly for little boys. My cousin dropped by and played toilet paper football with the kids and it turned out that when Sister Someone returned, we were all like…already? And apparently, our evening was better than hers…she ate the chicken wing and fried rice special from a ghetto Chinese carryout while he drove the gas out of her car. I also found out that when they barged in on me (I was Craigslisting actually), Floater asked Sister Someone why was I on that site…..now, unsure why he asked her that question, but really, it is none of his business and to barge in on me with no warning and wonder what I am doing in the privacy of my home is downright rude to me. Floater further impressed me as when Sister Someone left, she offered to take down the trash…and she was carrying the trash bag, a box of trash, her purse, and her son’s hand while Floater offered to hold her car keys. Really, dude?
Okay, I am going to stop this update/rant/vent here because I could go on and on about this chick and her subsequent two dates…I will tell you guys all about them in another post…just know that Brother Everything has yet to move in with the other chick (something about that not working out) and is still getting breakfast on a platter every morning and Floater has not returned a call or text since their romantic night out. Enjoy your day and I will be back sooner than later.