Me, Myself and Irene

No, this is not a post about the movie that starred Jim Carrey and Renee Zellweger. As I am sure everyone knows, last week was a week of natural disasters for the east coast. First we had the East Coast Quake, which I blogged about earlier this week (In Case of Emergency)…or rather I blogged about what I did and how it affected me. What I did not tell was that according to the newscasts, nothing else happened that day. Absolutely nothing…just the earthquake. There were eyewitness accounts, pictures, videos and stories about the damage the earthquake inflicted, but no other news. I will say, one of the meteorologists did make me laugh when she addressed the emails and phone calls complaining there was no warning about the quake. This woman looked directly into the camera and said: “I am a meteorologist and I predict weather…which is up here ( hands float toward the ceiling). Earthquakes occur down there (hands go down towards the floor) and a geologist studies that. And just so you know, earthquakes cannot be predicted. They just occur. “ Apparently, it was a rough afternoon at the news station.

Well, at 11pm there was another story…Irene was coming!! She was gaining power and force with each passing breath and while she was no Katrina, she had apparently studied at the feet of Hugo and had learned her lessons well. She was as wide as Europe and leaving destruction in her wake.  Mandatory evacuations were in place, people were given sandbags and boards and other precautionary materials. Grocery stores were emptied out in hours ( and I have to ask this question: when any storm is predicted, be it snow or potential hurricanes why do people stock up on food as if they are feeding army? Did you not have any food before the storm warnings and what do expect to do with all this food once the power goes out?) Now, I am a native of DC and have only known of one hurricane to come through..Isabelle who just dumped a lot of rain and did not even shut down power. So while I heard the warnings of Irene, I took it all with a grain of salt. I had a fully stocked freezer but decided I needed to pick up toilet paper, cigarettes, junk food and eggs. She was expected in the DC area on Sunday but somewhere along the line, her 500 miles wide butt picked up some speed and now she was expected Saturday afternoon.

I considered being with someone during the storm….it would have been nice to have been held and kissed and cuddled up while the wind howled and the rain fell in buckets…and Lord knows, Craigslist was filled with lonely men who did not want to be alone during the storm. Some wanted to host, some wanted the woman to host but there was just something about their ads that left me feeling a little “off” . I am not looking for sex, per se, but rather…intimacy, and then not for long periods of time.  I am looking to get to know someone with my clothes on  and while some guys actually said they wanted to get to know someone new, it still came across as they wanted to get to know you naked. Besides, I am not the chick who wants to be all snuggled and bunned up during inclement weather…even when I was in a relationship. Married Man came over during a pretty decent snowfall one winter (not the back to back blizzard season) and we were in bed, snuggled up watching TV. Well, I was trying to watch TV….he was touching me and kissing me everywhere and it was really getting on my nerves! Seriously.  I wanted to lay in bed, divide my attention between the snowfall and the television; maybe cook a homemade soup and sip hot chocolate, not be mauled and fondled….it’s the man in me.

So I decided to brave the storm alone…if I did not want to shower, I did not have to and if I wanted to eat chili and pass gas as chili is prone to make me do, I could without feeling embarrassed or wondering what someone else thought of me. I spent the morning catching up on some TV shows I had missed out on during the week, and cleaning the house some. I hung clothes, folded laundry and kept the TV on so I could get minute by minute updates on Irene. Why not…she was all that was on as no other news was taking place anywhere else that day and cable was sucky. I debated bringing in my older than me balcony furniture as the winds could toss them around some but decided I would wait and see what developed. And then, the rains started….slow and steady at first, but soon enough, it was a thick curtain you could barely see through. Tree branches and leaves did a wild and crazy dance as the winds picked up. Buses stopped running and businesses shut down…she was here!! And I was alone and showered…and I enjoyed every minute of it. I did eat chili and Doritos and a big bag of peanut M&Ms. I laid in bed and watched movies and I let Boxer Rebellion (that band is awesome!) and Death Cab for Cutie be my soundtrack as I debated whether or not freshly chopped tomatoes, onions and jalapenos qualified as homemade salsa; I talked to my mom, my sister and Bell Pepper. I kept an eye on the back porch furniture which did not even move an inch. The pillows on the bench never flew away and I read on Craigslist how a group of folks were going to do a bar crawl in Arlington.

Of course, Irene had to do something to prove she more than media hype….she knocked out the cable/phone and internet and later on the power but in less than 12 hours, life was normal again….. and I was sleeping. Hell, what is one supposed to do with the cable and power off? She definitely left some destruction and damage behind in her tour of the east coast….flooding, tree damage and a random electrical wire fire but for me personally….she did not do much of anything except give me time to think about my life, my current situations and the occasional thought of him, which I quickly put to the back of the line. Irene gave me the time I needed to realize a game changing move may be what the doctor ordered; that I no longer need enough help to simply reset and start over from zero…I need a jumpstart. Irene helped me realize that I do not need a man to complete my life, I want one to complement it and while I am glad I am not one of the clingy, needy types…I need to want the man as much as I want him to want me…and if I do not want a man to spend time with me during a natural disaster, maybe there is something wrong with me. Really, how can I handle for better or for worse if I cannot deal with him for an overnight visit?

Prayers and positive thoughts go out to those who were affected by Irene, and I will be back sooner versus later with updates on the game changing move(s). Have a great day!

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