This post was supposed to be about releasing anger and resentments. I called up Panel members all excited and nervous because I was going to try to tackle an issue that is so ingrained in me, it is simply a part of my makeup at this point in time. But I decided against it….no way I can talk about what I have never experienced and textbook lessons are so trite. It is all easier said than done and seriously, if I am still holding grudges over an 8 year old seafood salad and openly, proudly and loudly admitting that I have not and shall not ever forgive Him for what he has done to me….I cannot tell anyone how to release negative feelings. We will have to learn together….and no need in trying to teach me…Morning Person has been trying for years to no avail.
So while going about my daily routine waiting for inspiration to strike (Meredith Grey is coming), the day itself turned into some sort of Drama Central Casting Call…..talks that never happened, passive/aggressive confrontations, tears that never came, WTF moments….and for once, it wasn’t me, Cuz, Buddy or Oscar. This day that was shot all to hell belongs to Girlfriend and while it is sad that it has come to this, it seems to have earned her her very first solo blog post.
First, I know I say all these wonderful things about Girlfriend all the time….and I mean every word I write/say. She is a great person and I have known her 7 years now…wow, that’s a long time, yet it feels both as if we just met yesterday and as if we have been friends forever. We were friends from the start…she has a bubbly, cute personality and a smile that lights up a room. She is caring, empathetic, sympathetic and understanding. Since I have known her, she has had her share of relationships and with few exceptions, they have always ended in ways that are less than ideal. One good thing about Girlfriend though is that she will not recycle a relationship…..there is a reason it ended the first time and she has no desire to repeat the cycle as the only one who has changed is her….and her change is to protect herself, which is what made this situation with The Ex so surreal…she actually broke her golden rule for this guy. This is the first time that has happened…she has another ex who still has a piece of her heart and she has yet to recycle him…I think she was seriously considering it at one point with this other ex, and had even set up not one, but two dinners where they would both lay their cards on the table, but she gave up. The first dinner was at Chipolte and she had to pay for her own meal and the second dinner…he asked her was it going take longer than an hour as he had made other plans. He still calls and still pleads, but she has turned a deaf ear on that idiot.
So she breaks her golden rule for The Ex….no talk, no repercussions. Another awesome trait of Girlfriend…she will not try to change you. Change comes from within, not externally and she is smart enough to know that she cannot change a person. So when The Ex came back off the break with denial and delusion, and Girlfriend says that is who he is….she is not looking for anything long term, serious or permanent with him and if he chooses to have a different recollection of their demise the first time around, so be it. For those of you who may not be familiar with the story, here is a quick recap:
Girlfriend met this guy maybe a year ago now….he was looking for someone who would be okay with a monogamous sexual relationship with no commitments. However, like all in-bedroom relationships, it turned into more than just sex and soon, they were out of the bedroom dating, dining, dancing and having a wonderful time together. Until he just up and left her for a Barely Legal chick with a kid….all the things he did not want in a woman, he not only left her for but got engaged to the Barely Legal chick and Girlfriend found out via Facebook, of all places. The Ex had the nerve to FB her and ask her for her congratulations! Girlfriend moved on, hooked up with Little Marine who turned out to be an idiot and before she could catch her breath good, The Ex was back. Apparently, paradise was not all it was cracked up to be and whatever happened with Barely Legal, it ended so badly restraining orders were put in place. The Ex came back, stating he forgives Girlfriend for walking out on them (I am still trying to figure out what he is obviously smoking) and in spite of her golden rule, Girlfriend took him back. It was supposed to be casual and fun….but it quickly turned exclusive and The Ex started sending mixed signals again…. and once again, ended up catting around on Girlfriend —he took the new chick over to Girlfriend’s BFF’s house of all places (he and the BFF’s husband are friends) ….Girlfriend was not sure HOW to feel. All she knew was it didn’t take long at all for him to reveal his true colors and she decided to confront him.
Okay, so here is the part we all get caught up…..Girlfriend and The Ex decided to meet again at the BFF’s house to have their talk. They were both invited to the BFF’s birthday party and The Ex asked Girlfriend what time he could expect her to show up. Girlfriend was thinking she would go home after work, and get pretty so she told him between 7:30-8pm. However, Girlfriend decided to just head over right after work…she and The Ex could talk before it got crowded and maybe they could salvage something from this. At the very least, she would get an apology…explanations were out of the question and she knew this. So Girlfriend shows up and is all happy happy with the BFF when The Ex shows up….with THE OTHER WOMAN. He takes one look at Girlfriend and tells her (as if it is all her fault): you aren’t supposed to be here yet. You’re early. Girlfriend was speechless and hurt beyond belief. The man was deliberately disrespecting her, yet it was HER fault? The Other Woman is ghetto ( seriously, if Girlfriend calls you ghetto…there IS a problem) and obviously had no clue what the hell was going on. Girlfriend ended up feeling sorry for the chick as The Ex stashed her in a chair somewhere and spent the evening trailing behind Girlfriend like a lost puppy. The situation sounds utterly and ridiculously surreal to me…. Girlfriend just trying to hold it together (and that was classy…no sense breaking down or going ghetto in front of complete strangers and at her BFF’s birthday party) while that cheating bag of scum is following her around as if they really were a couple while the Other Woman is stuck in social Siberia, eating alone and watching her date fawn all over another woman. Picture time came and went and The Ex was trying to get into every shot with Girlfriend but by this time, Girlfriend knew there was no need in talking to him about anything as she already knew where the hell she stood. And do you know the man had the nerve to text her the next morning as if nothing happened?
Girlfriend called me as soon as she left the party and was in her car….she was in shock, disbelief and she wanted to cry so badly….but no tears would come. I made her repeat herself a dozen times because I just cannot see any man Girlfriend found special enough to recycle being so stupid a second time….and so quickly. I was thinking maybe somewhere along the line, she had misunderstood him or something…WHO comes to meet their person for a talk with another woman? Seriously?? But Girlfriend had proof…she could forward the texts and emails to show me that he knew exactly what he was doing….and here I have to give the dude some benefit of the doubt. Of course, it makes him a player versus a disrespectful bitch but perhaps the plan was to spend part of the celebration with the Other Woman and the other part with Girlfriend…that would explain his first statement to her. You know, I am not a martyr or a masochist by any means, but I would take Girlfriend’s hurt and pain for her if I could. She is so sweet and wonderful and she has been hit time after time after time in such a short period. She keeps saying she is okay and fine, but I wonder and worry about my friend. She did get away for a few days with some friends and I hope she laughed, got drunk and had random sex with someone who made her eyes roll up in her head.
Well, once again we are all caught up with the latest drama; I hope I did Girlfriend some justice and she won’t be calling me up asking what is this crappy ass post. Now, I am preparing the next blog post….I call it Great Expectations. Look for it really soon!