Okay, there is so much going on right now with Panel Members, it is making my head spin, and honestly it could be that it is not so much that is going on but the emotional and mental magnitudes that come with these situations that is both tiring and trying. If this blog were a newscast, the following situations would be termed “developing stories” which we would follow up with as soon as more details become available; I wonder if I should call them “breaking news” but “breaking news” is attributed to newsworthy events that are unexpected, such as a plane crash, fire or perhaps a political scandal OR to newsworthy events that occur close to a new outlet’s usual deadline. I have me sticking with “developing stories” as these situations are not unexpected, so without further ado, below are some situations which we will follow up with as necessary for your reading pleasure.
Girlfriend: Okay, this IS “breaking news”. With all the unhealthiness and drama surrounding the Panel, the story of Girlfriend and Little Marine was a breath of fresh air and a romantic movie come to life. A connection made when one least expected it; despite the heroine’s misgivings and protests, the young hero valiantly strives to break down the walls around her heart. He takes her out, they hang out, he has met her friends. They talk, email and text constantly. He spent her birthday with her…..despite herself, the heroine finds herself melting and realizing that this guy really IS that into her and is ready to fling insecurities aside and give in to abandon. He cooks dinner for her, they have THE discussion and both admit to being monogamous and feeling a little more than they should. Then, the hero gets sick and is all snarky and snippy with the heroine, who is feeling something in her gut, but she is doing her best to ignore it. He ‘s just sick, is all. BUT, (and this is the “breaking news” part) the heroine finds out via Facebook (I swear, most evil thing ever!) that her brand new, monogamous Knight in Shining Armor has been spending time and sucking face (we are hoping that is all) with some other chick who is posting for all to see that SHE is the one in a relationship with our hero, and she is so sorry she got him all sick and germy. The heroine is devastated…not two days before all this happened she is telling her friends how great this is and how she is ready to admit to the world she is in a relationship and it feels good to have a healthy one for a change. And the hero is proving himself to be as stupid as anything out there as he has both women as friends on his page. To add insult to injury, Girlfriend is also dealing with the Ex….the one who dumped her to get engaged to the Barely Legal girl with children who was all he said he didn’t want. In any case, in that camp, there is something going on about a restraining order, a broken engagement and it has resulted in Girlfriend getting a 2am text from the Ex….begging her to come pick him up from some godforsaken place as he is too drunk to make it home. When Girlfriend asked him why he was calling/texting her for a ride (she is SO not Taxi on Demand), he says Girlfriend left him, NOT the other way around and he forgives her for that. So Girlfriend is dealing with Crazy, Stupid and Heartbreak….stay tuned for further developments.
Adam’s Housecat: This could very well be the last we hear of this story….it seems to have developed its way onto the cutting room floor. Okay, first dude did not email me at all during the drive down to Ocean City. Then when I return Monday, he says he was “preoccupied” but he missed me so much. He feels that we are getting too serious and that I was willing to put myself out there for a person I had never met face to face. I explained to him that fun and flirting was not what I would deem “putting myself out there”….we were staying online for now and if he did not want to get to know someone, why place an ad? He then confesses to being married ( like I did not already figure that one out….unable to email except during work hours?) and that he was not that tall. So even more red flags….the man who claims to be a different caliber of man is nothing more than a fake, phony and a liar. I told him I appreciated his honesty. Then he revealed even more of his kinky side/desires/fantasies to me. He told me I was hot and sexy and he wanted me to be his and to both teach him and learn from him. Then he emails saying he is headed to the Starbucks less than half a block from my building ( he was supposed show up the first week we were emailing, but thought it was “hotter” to just walk past and then email me he was walking past) ….he would email once he was outside and we could go grab a refreshing drink….I told him I would be ready.
Then there was silence….until the receptionist called me at my desk to tell me I had a visitor and it was Adam’s Housecat!! I was floored….I was too shocked to realize that this really was creepy in a way. I put on lipstick, dabbed on some perfume and lotioned my hands so they would not be ashy and went into the conference room, which is where I told the receptionist to put him. I was nervous as HELL but the look on his face was one I had not seen in a long time. He told me I was prettier and sexier than my pictures would suggest and I was wanting to say the same thing about him, but honestly….I couldn’t. He is definitely not tall, and thinner than his picture suggested. He has gorgeously colored eyes but they are either excessively puffy or he has bags, great smile and a low, sexy voice but body wise….I need something to hold onto…fat or muscles, it makes no difference but I can see him being pale, pasty and just thin naked. His personality is forceful though and something primitive in me is drawn to that. We made small talk and he told me he could see us spending lots of time together and he hoped I wanted that also. According to him, he would make the time for us to have lots and lots of fun. I told him just showing up was a total surprise and isn’t that what people in a regular relationship did…show up unannounced to surprise their partner? He just smiled and took my hand. Then he said he needed to get back to the office and would I be so kind as to walk him outdoors, and I agreed. Once we were on the elevator, he pushed me against the wall, and kissed me. Deeply, forcefully and with lots of tongue, all the while grabbing, groping and feeling all over my body. And Sweet Jesus….I LOVED it! By the time we reached the lobby, he had straightened my clothes and I was breathing hard and feeling like a schoolgirl.
He emailed me once he got back to his office and asked me to hook him up with the receptionist!! He did not want her the way he wanted me but he found her pretty and wanted to see her and touch her. Once I did that, then he and I could be together. And I was done…..rejected AGAIN for someone not even on my level if I gained 500 more pounds, and the thing with Adam Housecat is….he really saw nothing wrong with that. Newsflash, dude: being dominant does not give you license to be rude or disrespectful. I guess this is where the fact that we aren’t in a relationship and I would not be the only one is supposed to kick in….but this idiot had the nerve to say I BROUGHT the receptionist into our relationship when I sent her to fetch him from the lobby. Again, WHAT relationship?? And if this is what I had to look forward to in a relationship with him…forget it. He has no idea what or who he wants and I do not have me on pins and needles wondering who he meets or interacts with during the day. I told him no way was I doing that and if he wanted her, he knew where she worked. And he and I have not emailed since…..Oscar asks about him and I do wonder what he is doing but I say he is indulging in his kinky fantasies while envisioning the receptionist’s tits. I did tell the receptionist about it (she thought he was hot and good looking) and she does not want this to affect our working relationship or be awkward in any way, and I tell it won’t, but I keep calling her a dumb heifer. I need to work on that…it is NOT her fault and I cannot take it out on her. So while it seems that this story has ended….I am stupid, he is delusional and we will just have to see what happens.
The Wedding: Did you people really think we were not going to see this one through to the end?? Really? Him is the reason for this blog and he has brought us along from the beginning for this farce of a relationship. We will see this through until the end….whether it ends in a happily ever after or divorce court….this is a story the Panel will be following. And we know his life now is no longer our business, but he will make it our business. Trust that one. Our reporters on this story are Artsy Craftsy and Quiet One. Artsy Craftsy is returning to the Island next week (Island II was simply too much all the way around) and she says she can get us photos!! I am not sure how the girl does it, but she is tops. Seriously. Artsy Craftsy has found out that while the BTH looked nice in her wedding dress, she pretty much looked like a fat hooker coming out of retirement for the reception.
Quiet One, who has done an admirable job of holding things down in Artsy’s absence, has found out that Him dropped 100K or close to it on the affair; no one has heard about his daughters and their participation in the wedding. We did find out BTH needed a make-up artist (I am trying not to be mean and say that is standard for brides these days, but I am shot down); the venue was held in the heart of PG County which makes it ghetto off the bat, but Quiet One says that the tables and decorations looked nice. Him’s “best man” who is actually a woman who wore all black (his oldest “friend”….seriously, I call her Queen of the Gold Diggers and Artsy does not like her, but Quiet One says the woman is “okay”) is strange and delusional also….she kept telling Quiet One how pretty the BTH looked and when Quiet One asked to see a picture…the chick pulls up the 20 year old picture of the BTH that has her tits hanging over her dress and makes her look like an available hooker…..the picture that is her FB profile pic still and the one Him thinks makes me a “hater bitch”. The picture that outside observers say is “questionable” and half the Panel claims is that of a transsexual. Quiet One asked was this the wedding picture and then Best Man whips out her camera to show a picture of Him and BTH dancing at the reception, and in every picture, BTH had her face away from the camera, but Quiet One says that the woman is pretty big…she beeps when she backs up. Oh, and according to the Delusionals, BTH is either 36 or 38 ( NO ONE is swallowing that cock and bull story…and you have to see what we saw) and this is her second marriage. So we are going to live our lives and when we hear things, we will share them. We are all waiting for the photos….but we are on Artsy Craftsy ‘s and her contact’s schedule. Stay tuned.
We have more stories that are in development: Bell Pepper and User Dude (they have “broken up”) and Oscar (when she is ready to tell it, we will) are the first two that come to mind. Morning Person is just shaking her head and popping Tylenols like peppermints, Chef is still working on the condo, Cuz is sane (for how long we do not know) and Buddy…I have NOT talked to my Buddy in a minute so I need to catch up with him. Now I am going to finish being domestic and write my next post…..I am torn between the conclusion to the Beach Trip ( that is deserving of its own post) and Loving You, Losing Me. Oscar wants Loving You and I have a couple of members interested in my take on the subject. In any case, SOMETHING will be posted tomorrow.
Happy Easter or Happy Resurrection Day…whichever you prefer!