Nebraska. When one thinks of vacation destinations, I am sure Nebraska ranks in the bottom five…every time. I have anyone who has actually vacationed/visited this state describing their trip thusly: Saw lots of corn and lots of farmers. That’s all. And while this blog post is not even about Nebraska the State, here are some fun facts lest we completely bash and dismiss our 37th state (admitted to the Union in the year 1867):
- Omaha, Nebraska is the birthplace of Fred Astaire and Gerald Ford ( born Leslie Lynch King, Jr.). Ford is the first and only US President to hold the office without actually being elected either to that office or the Office of the Vice Presidency
- Omaha is home to Boys Town, founded in 1917 and home to Lied Forest, the world’s largest indoor rainforest
- Also, Omaha is the city where Marlon Brando’s mother gave acting lessons to Henry Fonda
- Kool –Aid was invented in Hastings, Nebraska and the 911 Emergency phone system originated in Lincoln, Nebraska
- Nebraska was the first state to complete its segment of the nation’s Interstate Highway system
- Arbor Day originated in Nebraska City, Nebraska
- Nebraska is home to the world’s largest coffeepot and the world’s largest porch swing…it can hold up to 25 adults
So see, I am educational and entertaining…I’m wonderful. Now, on with our story….back in the days when Him was simply Boss or Big Poppa and the Panel had not yet formed (they were divided into Island friends and Social friends and Cuz, Pregnant One and Oscar were not a part of us), I was single and loving it. I was shed of Married Man and my own version of 9 ½ Weeks (we will talk about him in a day or so) and had embarked on the Craigslist Experiment: different dates pretty much every day of the week (for lunch and dinner), extra spending money and was seeing what the world had to offer. It offered me Nebraska. His name is not actually Nebraska (actually, he and the guy from my 9 ½ Weeks experience had the SAME name) but this dude was here on business and lived in Nebraska. Since I was no longer uttering the name that he shared with his predecessor, I called him Nebraska from the start. He was looking for company to ease his lonely evenings and was most interested in BBWs, especially a black one as he had never had an interracial experience. I was bored and responded, sending a picture along with it. He found me pretty, sexy and funny and next thing you knew, I was on a train headed for the suburbs.
The guy was cute…actually cuter than his pictures suggested and he met me at the subway station; we walked to his hotel and somewhere along the way, we held hands. I found this cute and endearing….until that moment, I had never really held hands with a man. Once in his room, I saw he had “set a mood”….low lights, covers turned down on the bed and a tray with strawberries and chocolate sauce. We sat, we fed each other fruit and talked….he was younger than me by a good 15 years, was in the banking industry and was in town taking a class on banking rules and regulations. He had limited experience with people of other ethnicities and found me amazing. While I did not feel connection or chemistry, there was a definite attraction, and our first kiss…definitely worth the trip. I am a very oral person and I LOVELOVELOVE to kiss. I know I am a good kisser, and if a guy is a good kisser as well….seriously, I can consider it foreplay and be more than happy with it.
The kissing got serious, breathing got heavy and clothes came off. He was a husky guy (and I like a guy with “pudding”….I need something to hold on to and make me feel warm and protected and safe) and while not “hung”, was very eager to please. I will also say I am not a size queen….as long as you know how to work what you got, we will get along fine. He was fascinated by our skin color contrasts and was very much into body part worship. He wanted to see me, taste me and explore every part of me. He was the first and only man I have experienced 69 with and he was the first and only man able to control his orgasms with me….he would get to the edge and pull back; worship me some more, and then start again. We took breaks, jumping up and down on the bed like kids and he stood me in front of a mirror, letting his hands trace the outlines of my curves. We did so much in that night…..it was the perfect one night stand. We talked, laughed, experienced new things and the best part? No worries about attachments because we had separate lives a good 1,000 miles apart. We kissed goodbye, I went home and had a relaxing, peaceful Sunday, remembering what a great time was had by all.
On Monday, when I reported to the Island, everyone could tell something had gone down. I told Girlfriend and Quiet One all about it….Girlfriend was excited; Quiet One was just glad I was okay…she has never approved of online dating. Artsy Craftsy saw me and demanded to know what did I do over the weekend….I was happy, calm and for once, not fussing or cussing over Big Poppa/Him loading me down with work and changing his priorities every 5 minutes. Before this revelation, Artsy Craftsy and I weren’t close…we were pleasant, cordial and had the general conversations about weather and fashion…but this is the conversation that made us friends. Her eyes got wide, she blushed and giggled. I think at that time, I was doing the things that no one else would dream of and definitely, Artsy Craftsy was getting a vicarious thrill from it all. She did not start worrying about the Experiment until it crossed the line into “part-timing”, in which I was receiving allowances from Daddies and donations/”roses” for my services. In any case, on that Monday, Nebraska sent me an email…..he wanted to see me again. He could not get the thought of me and my talents out of his head, and I have to admit….he was the best sex to come my way in a long time….so I said yes. I agreed to meet him after work…and therein lay the flaw….truly, they are called one night stands for a reason.
I know now that sex based on attraction alone cannot be duplicated…there HAS to be connection and chemistry for it to be mind blowing every single time and I had none of that with Nebraska, but our eagerness made up for that fact. We were kissing before I could cross the door sill and he practically pulled my clothes off me. He was already naked…..and we fell into the bed filled with desire. However, I am not sure if it was the fact that I had worked a full day and had been awake for over 12 hours, or that I was hungry (lunch had been at noon and it was after 6) but I do know I was happy when he finally finished. Not that I did not get mine….I was just ready to leave as soon as I got mine. We talked a little about our respective days, and what was on our agendas for the next day. While I was dressing, he told me he had fantasies he wanted to act out….maybe restraining me, blindfolding me and him being blindfolded. I jumped on it….not only was I curious about it and other things I had been reading about on Craigslist (Urban Dictionary is my best friend), here was a chance to safely explore. I was a novice, he was a novice…no expectations and the trial and error of learning could be equally shared. So we planned for Day 3 of what was supposed to be a one night stand.
The next day at work, I was tired. I had gotten home around 9 the night before, and after eating, making phone calls and answering emails, preparing for work the next day (I HAD to iron that outfit) and not hitting the bed until midnight….I was wiped. Big Poppa/Him was riding my ass over some proposals, accounting was looking for me to provide with some client info and supplies needed to be ordered. Married Man was calling, trying to plead his case and I was pretty frazzled. At lunch, I showed Girlfriend and Artsy Craftsy the toys in my purse and we all had a good laugh which helped to restore some balance to me. Then Nebraska emailed to say his class was running over and he would not be available until 7ish, which put me in a quandary. I got off work at 5, but I could stay an hour over and get caught up on some stuff or grab some dinner. We were spending two hours together, which meant I would not see my house until 10:30pm at the earliest and all I wanted was a nap. But, the thought of being blindfolded and restrained was exciting and really, who knew when I would be able to safely explore these things again? I ended up grabbing a soup from the café before they closed at 4 and stayed over an hour to try and get a jump on the next day’s tasks and was more than happy when I exited the train at Nebraska’s station. However, when I got to the room and knocked…..there was no answer. I was not worried or wondering where he was…I was pissed and ready to head back home. With a man I do not care about or love, I am not waiting around or making excuses. He fucked up and I was not waiting around to hear why he did, but as soon as I made it back to the elevator, Nebraska was getting off….and we went back to the room.
Definitely, an experience to remember: being restrained to the headboard and blindfolded while he did what he wanted to my body…..Sweet Jesus. The man used ice cubes, feathers to tickle me and his tongue….it did things to me. I will say this….if it weren’t for the props and the newness of the restraints and denial of at least one of my senses…it would not have been as exciting. This is what I have learned since the days of Nebraska….if there is no chemistry or connection and the relationship is purely sex based (as far as I know, we had no common interests and conversations were general at best), the sex has to become more and more intense to recapture the intensity of the first time; there was no desire or passion or even an interest in our partner’s pleasure…we both were doing what we did for our own selfish purpose. When it was over, we were laying side by side in bed (we had not cuddled since the first night) and I asked him had he had dinner. The reaction I got pretty much let me know that men do not hear what women say….he started yelling and hollering that we weren’t supposed to be getting attached and we both knew there could be no commitment. Hello….I asked had you eaten dinner, not that I wanted to marry you and raise mixed babies that would eat lots of corn and watch tons of college football. Hell, I did not even suggest we eat dinner together! I told him I needed to go as it was going to be a long day tomorrow and to have a safe trip home. We kissed goodnight and what I thought was goodbye…..and I left.
Next day at work, the tiredness was visibly showing….the constant sex had me walking funny and my glow from Monday had long left. Even Him noticed I was looking a little rundown and asked me was I okay. I told him I was fine….Girlfriend was surprised. She told me I should be glowing and happy. I told her I was older than she thought and Artsy Craftsy was laughing at how I was walking as if I had spent 3 days straight riding a horse. I do remember thinking all I wanted was for the day to end….I would go home, take some pain meds and sleep. However, Nebraska emailed AGAIN….he would be leaving to go home in the morning, and wanted to see me one last time. He apologized for tripping the night before and wanted to end things on a good note….so I once again agreed. I KNEW better….but I am a people pleaser and did not want him thinking ill of me. So once again, after work, I was on my way to the hotel. And it was a bust….I had no idea what to say anymore as I felt he would take anything I said as a plea to stay or take me with him; he was awkward and we did not do anything. Clothes stayed on, we made strained conversation and within a half hour, I was ready to put him on a plane and take my ass home. So once again, we kissed and agreed we had had a seriously good time and that was the end of us.
I learned a lot from this experience, but I never knew how much until I wrote it down for you guys. One night stands are just that; things that are good can really never be duplicated, but things that are real can. Nebraska and I had a good time….we should have left it at the one night. In not doing so, it disintegrated into something that I have no desire to repeat, but obviously he thought differently. The man still emails once in a while and has been back to town at least twice since our encounter; he wants to see me, he misses me…..but I find no need to travel back out to the suburbs. Of course the thought of good sex makes me want to say yes, but when I play the tape all the way through, it was not that good and afterwards….I do not want to feel like some unwanted intruder in his space. Hell, at the very least I want someone who would not mind sharing a meal with me without it being some huge deal or thinking it is the first step to getting married.
So this is my trip to Nebraska….like the state, not much to see or do and you can overdose on the one good thing there is to do. We are going to find out about the Phone Booth tomorrow ( promise) and then we will find out what I did for 9 ½ Weeks. Enjoy your Sunday, people!