Today, I am finally going to tell you guys about Oscar and what she is going on with her. After spilling my guts in yesterday’s post and the process/emotions taking me in a totally different direction than I wanted the post to go in, it is time to mind someone else’s business. Even though I barely scratched the surface of all that we were sexually, you probably still know waaay more than you need to and the thing is…I wasn’t even going to talk about MY sex life. I was going to talk about the strange sex people have….like the guy who has sex with fruit and peanut butter (he has Oscar and I wondering what mashed bananas would feel like) or the guy who gets sexually aroused blowing up balloons and orgasms when he pops them (Chef and I cannot figure out what the deal is with THAT, but I am veering towards a latex fetish)….NOT about my sex life with him, but I guess what came out is what needed to come out. For what, I have no idea because I am confused and saddened and wonder now if all we were and what we felt together was just on me.
I told you guys Oscar is calling dibs on crazy, and truly she is. The girl has deep rooted issues that need to be addressed by a trained professional and I do not say that to be mean, cruel or even funny. Like the majority of us, she knows she has them and unlike the majority, she knows she needs help to get to the root of the problem. She cuts herself, she contemplates suicide and she uses sex and emotions to hide from her realities. Oscar is in over her head and there are days she is drowning and it is only by holding onto the hands of her mother, her son and myself she has not gone under for good. When we last left Oscar, she had decided to forgive Him, Jr. his physical assault on her and was going to stay with him. Well, that blew up in her face as Him, Jr. turned out to be the World’s Second Biggest Asshole who used her and inflicted even more pain. He used his son as a weapon to stay close to her yet keep her at arm’s length. He would get his son for visitation and leave him at the house with HIS brother while he went out partying, to hockey games and to meet his new girlfriend. He has had the girlfriend over there while he had his son ( the baby actually came home and told Oscar “Daddy had a woman over and I don’t like her”), ignored the baby when he was there and here is the kicker: the “woman” who has captured his heart and he actually calls his girlfriend and who he claims to love……he walks to school in the morning. The girlfriend is underage!! I wonder if he packs her lunch also? She is in high school and he is a grown man. The Law & Order Special Victims Unit would love this guy.
Needless to say, Oscar did not take the news well, and she went off in a direction that had my mouth hanging open and had Morning Person and Pregnant One shaking their heads. Oscar went off on the girl….calling her at 3am when she knew the girl (I am going to call her Miss Minor) was spending the night with Him, Jr.; telling Miss Minor all about her history with Him, Jr. and what sexual acts he liked performed on him; telling the child all about her communications with Him, Jr. and once during a conversation with Him, Jr. demanded he put the girl on the phone. Of course, Him, Jr. (I am abbreviating him to HJ) ate this shit UP and would call Oscar telling her ALL of their business and even told Oscar Miss Minor was pregnant! THAT proved to be too much for Oscar and after repeated warnings and admonishments from me, called the girl and told her all…which the girl promptly denied and even called HJ on a 3-way to prove her innocence. It was also around this time that Oscar met a guy who was 10 years her senior and claimed to have had this long time crush on her and asked her to be his girlfriend. I TOLD Oscar do NOT go there….this dude was bad news. First, he was 10 years older, and the long time crush….Oscar is a baby herself (a young baby), so please define long time crush? Second, he told her he did not care if she was still hung up on HJ…they would work through it together. Really? WHAT man do you know of who willingly wants drama? Third, he DID work, but still could not provide Oscar with anything…..he had no car, Oscar has no free time or flexible schedule so he would meet the girl outside for “dates”. No food, no going to the bar for a drink….making out on a stoop is what he offered. To be fair, he invited Oscar over twice when she did have a night off from the baby, but when she did go over, all she talked about was HJ….and because this dude and HJ worked together, Oscar could still keep tabs on not only HJ but the relationship. AND this crazy dude obliged her, which makes him crazier than she is as she has a reason for her craziness. I knew Oscar had no feelings for this dude…yes, she found him cute and sexy, but the one time she had to seal the deal with him, she got drunk, indulged in a 3some and went over to dude’s place; she claimed sick and went back home to give one half of the Dynamic Duo she had JUST had sex with another round. Even HJ told Oscar she was settling and could do better, and whatever she did, DO NOT sleep with that dude. Turns out HJ was on the money, as this guy was needy, crazy and clingy. He sent Oscar the world’s longest text message begging her to give him one more chance, he LOVED her and please do not leave him…and when Oscar agreed to one more try (Oscar knew she was not in love and finally realized she was not ready for anything), dude dumped her on Facebook…and not in a private email…he did it on the home feeds!!
Oscar was not crushed and thanked her lucky stars she dodged THAT bullet and it was around this time one of her best friends was tragically killed in a car accident. Grieving, bored and reality setting in fast, Oscar decided to resume her stalking of HJ via Facebook, and seriously, I KNOW from experience the quickest way to have reality come smack you in the face is to go snooping. You always find out things you do not need to know, no matter how recent or old it is and Oscar found that HJ and Miss Minor has put up profile pics of themselves together and kissing….and Oscar was back in the spiral. This time, she hooked up with a guy I will call Mr. Minor …I even asked her if he and Miss Minor share a homeroom. In any case, Oscar, Mr. Minor and the baby spent a day playing ball in the park, and she hooked up with him later than night to go not one, not two….but four rounds with him and now…she is in love. She says this guy has wiped all thoughts of HJ from her mind, he is all she can think about and she has pictures of him everywhere. She calls/texts him every day and prays every time she gets a communication, it is from him. She cannot eat, she cannot sleep…all she can do is think about him. I keep telling her she is running from the inevitable….she is hurting like hell and trying to recapture what she had with HJ, but right now she and HJ are no longer together and she is trying to find a substitute. She told me she was processed and this was the real deal…..but even she admits that this guy reminds her of HJ BEFORE the baby came, when it was just she and him. She says that the day in the park had her thinking of a real family …what she has always wanted with HJ. She has told the guy how strong her feelings are for him and how she has to break it off and he understood, but now Oscar wants him back. She wants to be free to obsess over him and to feel him again, be with him again. Yet, I still believe it is not Mr. Minor but HJ she longs for. All I know is this is a ball of confusion. Oh, and to make it even MORE confusing…one of her best friends who is a gay virgin kissed her and felt her up the other night. Complete and utter madness people, although I will cut them both some slack….she was drunk and since he is still a virgin, perhaps he is bisexual and not a flat out homosexual.
I am pretty much finished putting another person’s business out there…it is all confusing, frustrating and to me, it sounds almost incestuous as these people all run in the same circles and maybe inter-related (they’re not really, but I feel that way sometimes) ….it is like Archie and the Gang passing Betty and Veronica around. I want Oscar to slow down, think things over, work things out with herself and THEN make a move. I want her to remember her talents and goals and dreams….concentrate on those. Like me, she is impatient and impulsive, but Time and the Universe will not be rushed and rushing into the first thing to come along when you are still holding on to past loves and hurts does more harm than healing. I want to say I sincerely hope this did not come across as judgmental in any way because no one is judging. Every Panel member is fucked up in their own way and we all are going through something. Some of us have been where she is and we talk to her and give advice so her road will not be so hard to travel, but we know everyone has to go through what they have to go through. We LOVE Oscar and have only her best interest at heart; she is there for us and as best we can, we are there for her…..just because she called dibs on crazy doesn’t mean the rest of us aren’t crazy right along with her. I am going to end this post in her own words (yes, another poem by my baby!!) and next time we can meet Chef and maybe get caught up with other Panel members.
Little girl, it wasn’t long ago you’ve wished upon a star. You’ve lost sight of who I am, I’ve never forgotten who you are. Little girl, you’ve learned the difference, although it isn’t clear. I believe it shows inside your eyes, through every shedded tear. Little girl, so much has changed, your features, more complex. Your upbringing, your lifestyle, the challenges you’ve faced, I see that you’ve been blessed. Little girl, he is your little one, I am watching from afar. As he grows into the man he will become, he is wishing on a star.