I am going to begin this blog with a HUGE hug and shout out to my Guardian Princess, who has once again reached out to help me in my time of need. I have known her for 6 years, and from Day 1, we instantly hit it off. She is sweet, kind, loyal and has a heart bigger than mine. When she likes you, she likes you and when she loves you….she will not let hell, high-water or hurt feelings prevent her from doing or saying what needs to be done or said. She shows me unconditional love and friendship no matter what and I can be an ugly, stubborn, immature kind of person at times. I love her so much and she is a grounding factor in all aspects of my life. I will not say anything else about her right now as I may be embarrassing her.
I am still processing and have discovered that I do not hate him as completely as I thought and Meredith Grey said it best…hating someone you love is the most exhausting thing of all. I do hate his actions, but in a conversation with Chef today, he mentioned that him was sick. I was pretty pissed he even mentioned the man’s name, but Chef made a good point: yes, Panel members are MY friends, but some of them have to work with/for him and he is friendly with them and no one should have to censor what they say or who they talk about with either of us: no one should have to pick around pieces of their day to make a conversation tolerable for me and they are sick of talking of me in whispers or slamming down phones or shutting up completely when he comes into hearing range. In any case, when I heard he was pretty sick and once again, NO ONE can be bothered to give him a cough drop or a hot tea or even a tissue to blow his nose, it touched my heart that he is so sick he actually got sent home. It hurts me that no cares enough to send him hot soup; it hurts me that he is too dense to see that he has surrounded himself with people who just do not give a fuck BUT he had someone who cared and that did not matter to him, did it? He made his choice and this is just one of the consequences and repercussions, so while a part of me wants to send him hot soup and Dayquil and tell him to get better soon, I will not. He is a grown man who has been sick before; he has daughters and a BTH whom apparently has no interest in his health, only her perception of his wealth (there isn’t any), but that was his decision. I am not his mother, no longer his lover and at this point, we are not even friends. So he can either take care of himself or wait around on those he chooses to be with. It is no longer my problem or concern.
I told you guys I was going to blog about Izzie Stevens…..she is another character from Grey’s Anatomy, and seriously, Grey’s is the Him of my TV shows. I discovered them on a boring Thursday night and flipping through channels I came across the 2nd season premiere of this show, and I immediately got caught up in it. The characters leapt out the screen and spoke to me, and while they kind of went in a different direction with Season 4 (season of the writer’s strike), some characters have come and gone and storylines have tested my patience….I stick with them, and love them regardless. I love each and every character and while Izzie is NOT my favorite character, Izzie connects with me, and I have to say, she is probably the character most like me, personality wise…which would explain why she irritates me so much. Her name is actually Isobel Stevens, but Izzie never meets a stranger. She will walk up to everyone and say, “Hi! I’m Isobel Stevens, but call me Izzie.” Her smile, her friendliness and her openness leave you with no option but to respond in kind unless you are Bailey. She is the one who gets too attached, too emotional and she is the one who will always be there for you.
She is beautiful, smart and unconventional….. the woman was born and raised in a trailer park, she worked her way through med school by working as a lingerie model, and she has no shame about it; as she told Alex and a roomful of his male cohorts who were hooting and cat-calling at a pictorial spread of her in a magazine, wearing little left to the imagination: Laugh now, I do not care. While you are busting your butts to pay off your student loans, my education is completely paid for and I will be the one with the big house and fancy car in 5 years while you are in your one bedroom apartments wondering why you still can’t make ends meet. She then offered to show them the real deal, uncovered since they were so excited and eager to ogle her, but no one called her bluff. Izzie does not back down from a fight; the woman has follow through and no problem proving it. She is Queen of the Snide Remark and can break things down to its simplest form: after George (who is/was her BFF) punched Alex, Alex tried to play cool and macho with Izzie saying George hit likes his sister. Izzie’s comment: “So, in your own words, you just got beat by a girl?” Izzie is the one who is all about the holidays and togetherness and being a family. She is the one who roasts the turkey at Thanksgiving and decorates the house and tree at Christmas. She is the one who will bake up yummy treats for them to eat in the kitchen while sharing their day.
She feels left out by Meredith and Christina at times…..it as if they are over there in their own little world and she is over here, left out and all alone. She feels that being housemates with Meredith and working with Christina 18 hours a day coupled with the fact that they are the girls in their clique would give them a bond, a solidarity and it does…..except that Christina and Meredith are more alike. Izzie once said that you think living with people, working with people, talking to them every day…you think you know someone. Yet, Christina and Meredith are dark and twisty with issues and baggage that they know are unresolved and unpacked and view Izzie as a happy, shiny person….and seriously, what would happy/shiny know about dark/twisty? Izzie and George are the innocents of the group. Izzie likes to think of herself as an open book and if she can open up to you, you can open up to her, yet Izzie has her secrets also, and the only reason we know about them is because they came back to haunt her. She had a child out of wedlock as a teenager which she gave up for adoption. The child fell ill and needed a bone marrow transplant, so the adoptive parents brought the child to the hospital to ask Izzie to save their child. Izzie’s hurt, confusion and pain all came back and while she did not hesitate to save her baby, she declined the offer to become an active part of the child’s life. She knew that they had parted ways a long time ago, and to attempt to start something up now would do nothing but raise questions and cause confusion. Izzie has a mother who makes the term “trailer trash” sound like a good thing…..her mother drinks a little too much, has a Live Psychic Line addiction, enjoys the company of too many men at inappropriate times and lives her life through her daughter; yet her mother loves her and her pride at her daughter’s accomplishments and her awe at Izzie’s strength when Izzie was fighting cancer shone through despite her non-stop prattle of trailer park gossip.
Izzie’s love life…..it’s complicated does not do it justice. Really. All I can say is it began with Alex and it ended with Alex. She and Alex had an instant attraction, but it was rocky. For their first date, Alex was consumed by his utter awe of Izzie and fear of failing his boards which left him pretty much NOT the ideal date, and Izzie told him, with no problem, she really loved the part where he treated her like crap the entire time. Yet, when Alex told her he had a great time, you could tell Izzie was ready to say she had had one also, and puckered up for a serious kiss….and then Alex failed at that test also. Needless to say, she was left confused and bewildered. The two of them did hook up, only to have Alex cheat on her and Izzie was unforgiving. She felt that they were together…there was no one else in the picture for either of them, they had chemistry/attraction, and she felt that if he wanted to see another woman, just tell her. They were cool like that, but for her to walk into the on-call room and find him naked, doing George’s ex-girlfriend? NOT cool. She ignored him, she ragged him, she was mean to him….and got highly upset when the others continued their friendship with him. She told them that she was ALWAYS there for them, and the ONE TIME she needed them on her side, they weren’t. Meredith had to point out to her that no matter what happened between her and Alex, the others were friends with them both. They had given Izzie support and love, and Alex had already messed up and lost the girl he truly wanted….he did not deserve to lose his friends also. Izzie did forgive him in the episode about the bomb in the hospital. Izzie was watching all the activity surrounding the man with the bomb in his body and said that it was time for her to be a doer. So on what could conceivably be her last day on earth, Izzie did not run to a telephone to tell family and friends she loved them; she did not run upstairs to be with Meredith and Christina to assist in surgeries and be a hero or a martyr……she ran to Alex and told him: I have not had sex in 8 months and 12 days; I am horny, half-naked and saying yes. Do you want to stand there talking in metaphors or do you want to literally take off your pants? Afterwards, she and Alex had the talk, and they both admitted the roles they played….and everything seemed to be going well and balanced, until Denny Duquette.
Denny was a heart patient who was in need of a transplant. His first visit to the hospital was simply a harmless flirtation between he and Izzie, but when he returned to get the transplant…I am not sure how it happened but these two fell in love. I think Denny gave Izzie the compliments and attention that Alex could not and she fell for him. She got to spend time with him, learn all about him and she could share herself in return. The man was a patient with a weak heart so she had no far of his cheating on her, and Izzie let herself go, further than she ever intended. Christina told her she did nt know this man, she did not love him and a sane person would run the other way. Izzie told her that just because this was not a conventional relationship, did not make her love any less or diminished the possibilities of what could be. When his heart was in danger of falling through, Izzie went crazy. She cut his El-Vad wire to stop his heart (the worse his condition, the better his chance of getting the heart), prevented her friends from calling a code and put everyone in danger: Denny’s life, the hospital’s reputation and accreditation, her career and her friends’ careers. Her plan fell apart as she did this based on the assumption that Burke was en route to Seattle Grace with Denny’s heart but Burke was shot right outside the hospital by a crazed gunman. Izzie freaked out, George called in Meredith and Christina was up there only to check on Denny’s condition, and they were all caught up in it. Even Alex, who was not even IN the hospital at the time was still part and privy to this, and it was total bedlam. Bailey did damage control as best she could but no one, not Bailey, not the Chief could get anyone to admit anything. Izzie stood silent (smart move as EVERYONE knew who was behind it; anything said would have simply incriminated her further) and her friends stood with her. They were there for her and no one admitted to having any knowledge of what was going on. They all suffered consequences and punishments to protect Izzie. Denny proposed to her during the scramble to save him, Izzie said yes, and 2 days later after a successful surgery, he was dead. Izzie was a complete wreck, even quitting the program (she returned), but when it came time to separate her from Denny, it was Alex who reached for her and it was Alex she clung to.
Izzie and Alex did reconcile (not immediately…she slept with BFF George first) but then cancer struck Izzie; even though she survived and she and Alex did get married…..the issues from before, the new baggage being sick brought with it….it eventually took its toll on Izzie and suddenly she was no longer the one who was always there. Izzie left…..the hospital, her husband, her friends. She needed time alone and to think, and she really thought that everything would go back to being normal when she returned to Alex; they had been through SO much together, surely he would understand. But he didn’t, and he told her to stay away….and so far, she has. Izzie, who brought sunshine and brightness ….who made the holidays happy…who stuck by her friends no matter what….who was a competent surgeon with a wonderful bedside manner….who believed in true love, what is meant to be will be and real friendship, is no longer a part of the show. I say I don’t miss her, but I do. I miss her and Alex, I miss her talking with Meredith and being frenemies with Christina. I miss the bond she shared with Bailey. I miss Izzie.