Yesterday was a kind of blur. I remember crying, I remember blogging and watching TV. I remember eating junk food( although not quite as much as wrappers and empty containers would suggest) and I do remember the landlord coming for the rent, which I took $50 off and put in my pocket; I gave him an excuse about the bank, which he did not pay any attention to and I am grateful for that one. When someone hands you $1600 tax free dollars, no way would you let $50 hold that up. I remember emailing with Oscar, and just so you know, she is staying with Him, Jr. NO JUDGMENT! It is her decision: she is not ready to give up or move on and she feels that while it is not best for her, it is what she wants. I support her, the Panel supports her and we are all okay with that. I talked to Artsy Craftsy who is slightly worried, but no need. No one is dying or getting killed. Everything else is a jumble….I slept and had the dreams that I cannot remember and left me confused and headachy. At some point I must have cleaned as my bathroom is all sparkly white and smells of bleach. I was completely disconnected yesterday and I think the process is back in full effect. I do not like the process but it has to happen as you can’t stay stuck or in limbo forever.
I do know I went back online trying to convince myself I am ready to do something ( it is my control issues telling me that no way can I be stuck while He is out doing God knows what). I found nothing, but thought I would share these rare gems that had me shaking my head and ready to cry all over again over the lack of serious men who are looking for something other than a piece of pie. These are actual titles to online ads from Craigs List, in the Men Seeking Women ( LTR) section and the ones found in the Strictly Platonic Section were no better. In fact, one I found in Strictly Platonic said the guy was looking for a BBW with a big chest, big ass and a cute face. Most importantly, you had to be able to defend yourself at ALL TIMES. Seriously? I need to first meet physical requirements AND I need to be able to defend myself at all times during a strictly platonic encounter with you? Get real. Here are the ad titles:
Take this cock down your throat while I play with your nipples… – m4w – 24; DOMINANT Lady sought to train my tight ass to receive pleasure -m4w; It’s Gorgeous Out…Wanna Fuck? – m4w – 28; Early Morning Tittie Sucking! – m4w . Single ladies, is it not enough to just make you shake your head in disgust? I know for me, I am ready to halt the process (if THIS is an example of what is on the other side, I am NOT ready and never will be) and either check out nunneries or alternative lifestyle choices.
In addition to crying, eating junk food and perusing online ads, I watched movies. I adore movies, but rarely watch them (damned cable with their shows) , and when I find ones I absolutely love, I will watch them over and over. Movies I have NOT seen would amaze you: The Godfather ( none of them), Good Fellas, Scarface, Rebel Without a Cause ,Gone with the Wind and too many others to name. I have an Independent Consultant in South Carolina who has made it her mission before she dies to come up here, tie me to a chair for a week and make me watch all the must see movies I have yet to see. But I do watch movies and my tastes in moves, just like music is eclectic. I watch movies like The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas and I am looking for Hitler: The Rise of Evil on DVD. I have seen Bonnie and Clyde, Waiting to Exhale, Friday, Barbershop, and other mainstream films, current or not. My favorite movies are 80s movies. I swear, they have humor, substance and can stand the test of time. They can make you laugh, cry and think. Perhaps I am partial to the 80s decade because that is the decade before I became an adult and had stability, goals, hopes and dreams. The 90s….I have no recollection of and the 2000s…..I have been busy finding myself again.
In any case, 80s movies are the best ever. Everyone knows 9 ½ Weeks is my most favorite movie of all time but I talk about John and Elizabeth all the time, and they are not mainstream. I have a 3 way tie as to my favorite mainstream movie: Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club and Back to the Future. All are great movies, with great actors and great lines. Sixteen Candles is the story of a geeky/nerdy girl ( Sam) who is in love with the most popular guy in school ( Jake Ryan, who has a girlfriend who is the most popular girl in school), her older sister is getting married in a few days, both sets of grandparents are in town for the event and her entire family forgets her 16th birthday. It is predictable, yet funny (the wedding scene is the best ever! And the geeky guys, led by Anthony Michael Hall…..fall on the floor laughter) and sweet. It restores my faith in love conquering all every time. The Breakfast Club…..a group of 5 students sentenced to Saturday detention enter as strangers but as the day goes on, they reveal secrets, fears, share tears and laughter and find love (or at the very least, acceptance) and when they leave if they are not friends, they are changed forever by 8 hours alone with each other and have a deeper understanding of what it is like to walk in another’s shoes. What a mix they were: a Princess, a Jock, a Brain, an Outsider/Offbeat and a Criminal. People who never would be alone in a room with each other, forced to play nice with each other. One of the best lines in the movie (to me, at least) was when Offbeat was asked if her parents hit/beat her. Her response: Worse. They ignore me. Who cannot relate to that? Negative attention is better than none at all. I am still waiting for the freaking sequel when we find out what happened the Monday following the Saturday Detention. Back to the Future…..how can anyone NOT like Back to the Future? A sci-fi fantasy comedy with Michael J. Fox (I have loved him since he was Alex P. Keaton) and Christopher Lloyd (Reverend Jim from Taxi). It is simply the best feel good movie I have ever seen and the make like a tree and get outta here line? Classic! The pop culture references and clashes (Lorraine (his mom who has the hots for him) thought his name was Calvin Klein because it was on his underwear and in Part III, when asked what his name was, Marty responded with Clint Eastwood) are hilarious. That movie , which was actually the first in a trilogy, was wildly popular and while I do not own it on DVD or blu ray yet, I will soon. I do not think any other movie has even tried to duplicate the premise ( a time machine made out of a DeLorean, traveling back in time, getting stuck and meeting your parents before they were your parents) although Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure comes to mind. Bonus question: how many miles per hour did the DeLorean have to be traveling to initiate time travel?? (Answer in tomorrow’s blog)
Of course the 80s spawned other movies (and yes, I have seen them): Beverly Hills Cop (who does not know Axel Foley or about the banana in the tail pipe?), Weird Science (completely over the top, but geeks wearing bras on their heads? Worth watching), Say Anything (John Cusack is my boyfriend!), Pretty in Pink (Molly Ringwald just may be my girlfriend), Mannequin, Weekend at Bernie’s (Andrew McCarthy is a cutie), Less than Zero (sad and tragic), The Outsiders, Stand By Me, and St. Elmo’s Fire. The Big Chill, Grand Canyon, Parenthood, 48 Hours, Angel Heart (another Mickey Rourke movie with a great cast and his best acting ever), Wall Street (the original), Animal House (classic John Belushi), Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (HOW could I have mentioned this one so late in the list?), Raw (Eddie Murphy live in concert)…..worth every minute you spend watching it, Flashdance and every teen boy’s favorite: Porky’s.
Yeah, the 80s rocked: the movies, the music (another blog entirely), the fashions…….and while I am still feeling empty and disconnected and completely frustrated, it is not as much as it was yesterday, all thanks to Marty McFly ( G4 aired the entire trilogy) and Lifetime Movie Channel.
Today, I will do laundry, cook some spaghetti and I may or may not watch the Skins versus Eagles; I will check in with folks and prepare for another work week and I am sure someone reading has a favorite movie, 80s or not. Leave a comment and tell me about it. I need all the distractions I can get.