Bitches!


I know the title is a little risqué and out there, but it is not as bad as it seems. There are times when things need to be broken down to its simplest form, and now is as good a time as any. Yesterday, during my day full of random stuff,  I had several phone calls with Panel members and some independent consultants and all I can say is WOW. It seems as if the entire world decided to forego the medication and go crazy for a day.

 Bitches are everywhere in life and always when and where you really do not need them. Hell, life itself is a bitch. Work is a bitch. Your commute is a bitch. When your partner/significant other/FWB jumps off with some totally unwarranted crazy crap, they are bitches. You need to know and understand with my circle of friends we are all pretty much healthy people ( some are sicker than others)  in unhealthy relationships and  while happiness is not a foreign concept to us, the drama is pretty much overshadowing everything else. Also, healthy here is subjective; we all have our issues, but we can be honest, freely admit them and some of us are even working on them. Another thing I have found among my circle is that for those of us who are single and out there in the game ( I would say playing, but none of us are good at playing games) is that we all have major crises in our respective arrangements AT THE EXACT SAME TIME, and while it is said that misery loves company, give me a break!!! I am the one who is going through right now, and I need all attention and focus on ME. You cannot give me the advice, the feedback I need right now if you are asking me what to do about your person. Just kidding….seriously, I am  but that is what I mean about bitches. They rear their heads at the most inopportune times.

 Broken down to its simplest terms, we are dealing with three liars/cheaters ( one of whom is abusing illegal substances) and a psycho stalker bitch who has taken to camping out on dude’s property. There is talk of sending one of the liars/stalkers to the mental institution, pouring deer piss all over another liar/cheater’s clothes, bed and inside their cute little sports car, and doing an Angela Bassett and setting clothes and cars on fire. Cops will be called and  criminal charges will be pending against at least 2 of these bitches. Pretty much the only one getting away scot-free in our deranged fantasies and venting is the substance-abusing liar/cheater, as he really does not know what he is doing; he is under the influence, you know and  she loves him and what else can you do?

 First, NO ONE is under ANY obligation to tell you the truth. It sounds horrible, but it is true. No one has to tell you the truth if they don’t want to, and people lie all the time. When you are trying to get a big project out at work and a co-worker asks if you mind helping them out with yet another project….most of us take a deep breath, say sure thing, and come home and bitch and vent to our family and friends because really, we don’t want to help out. Do these jeans make me look fat??  It is not the jeans making you look fat, but we do not say that. We say, of course not.  Of course we expect our intimate partner to be honest and truthful about everything, but sometimes they just aren’t, and the choice is then yours. Do you  work past the hurt and forgive, forget and try again, or do you realize that as long as a liar can speak, you can never trust another word that comes out of their mouth and make the moves you need to make?

 When relationships go wrong and/or fail, it is hurtful and devastating.  We want to cry, kill and then die. The first thing to ask is: did we even have a relationship, or is it that I saw what I wanted to see and there really was nothing there? I am borrowing from a Panel Member now and using her definition of disappointment, which definitely goes along with the hurt and devastation: even though you didn’t have anything in the first place that’s  what disappointment is, a sense of loss for something you never had. Which makes perfect sense….you are disappointed in people when they do not live up to your expectations, and the key word here is YOUR. You expected something of a person that obviously they were unable to give or deliver.

The next thing to do is to not give this person too much power. If they cheated or left you for someone else, do not chase them or keep reiterating what they had with you. When you are  with someone who really wants and cares about you, they know what they have in you and the sexiest person in America can walk past butt naked and while they may look, they aren’t leaving your side. Definitely express your anger and hurt to them, but begin the moving on process. Do not wait around for them to realize their mistake and come back ( usually they will attempt a comeback), but they have not learned any lesson, they just know when and where they have it good. They did their dirt, and want someone to tolerate their behaviors. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

You cannot continue to drink the same dirty water from the same dirty cup; eventually you will get sick. Do not beat the dead horse….all the tears and beatings will not bring the horse back to life.  Bury the horse and let the dead tend to the dead. Mourn and grieve if you need to, but when you emerge from the dark place, lift your head to the sun and spread your arms wide….embrace a new day, and remain hopeful for better things.

 This is as much for me as for the Panel Members that are going through and wondering why. Sometimes there is no why, just a why not. We all take our turn at bat and while we may be up at the plate today, tomorrow we won’t. And the bitches will be bothering someone else, thank goodness.

 Hopefully this all makes sense and someone, somewhere feels me, and takes something from this. Now, can anyone tell me where to find  some deer piss?

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